The questions have been asked over and over: Why do girls lead guys on? What satisfaction do girls gain by eagerly giving out their numbers without any intention of ever answering the phone or returning the call? The female psyche is entirely paradoxical -- she has arranged her closet so intricately that only she can find logic in it ... and yet, she can't figure out what it is that she wants in a guy (all too often, she only knows what it is she doesn't want).
I recently was sitting in the living room of some of my guy friends, sipping some brews, when my friend Bryan raised his cup into the air and declared with contempt, "Girls make everything so complicated! WTF mate?!?" My other friend Spencer then seized the drama of the moment and raised his glass, "Girls aren't worth all this work ... they play so many games! They should make a spin-off of 'Fear Factor' based on the strategies of female manipulation."
I then raised my cup as if I was about to make my own argument, tipped back my head and gulped down my drink without saying a word. Truth be told: Girls do seem to make things complicated. But, like the shoes in our closet, (I swear to you) there is a method to the madness.
Girls are not nearly as sexually driven as males. The male has essentially an endless supply of genetic material to spread across the world. The female has her limited supply of eggs that, should they be fertilized, will ultimately bear enormous burden on her body. According to a lecture by Biology Prof. Debora Roach, this burden is so great that a woman's lifespan will actually be shorter the younger that she reproduces. But let's face it, no one at this point is really looking for fertilization ... Or are we?
Our instincts are with us whether we are hunter-gatherers or metropolitan socialites. So even though we girls are not looking to squeeze out a litter during our times in college, we are still programmed to select mates (*celebrates birth control with a little Irish jig*). REPEAT: We SELECT our mates. Girls, with their high gamete investments, are wise to collect a variety of guys to choose from as if they were buying a car ... or better yet, shoes.
Why don't we call back? Because we are not interested. We gave you our number because we would "feel rude" or because we haven't made up our minds about you or because we love to tease. AGAIN: We LOVE to tease. We will tease you with whatever we can: a flipping ponytail, a barely noticeable cleavage, a giggle, a facebooking, a facebook message! Or EVEN a facebook hardcore double-poke (okay, I made that one up, but you get my drift). So my advice to you, the Spencers and Bryans of U.Va. who wonder why we girls are playing you, is to not get attached to crushes until she makes it absolutely clear that she's into you.
Kate Carlisle is a Cavalier Daily Health & Sexuality columnist. She can be reached at kate@cavalierdaily.com
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