Sex -- can you handle it?Most likely, you consider yourself mature on the topic. "Butt" (hee hee) how mature are you really?
With sex icons like Anna Nicole Smith and Paris Hilton, a good sex joke is only so far away. Undeniably, sex makes for some great laughs yet is considered inappropriate in some forums (say, during grandma's birthday dinner).
There are other times when it is entirely befitting.One way to measure your own comfort with sexuality is by considering when you feel comfortable laughing about it. Aside from the obvious situations that beckon you to embrace sexual quips, like at your best friend's bachelor party or while reading "Blush" magazine, a sense of humor about sex can offer spice at other times as well, even between the sheets.
A mid-coitus giggle is anything but a slutty flirtation. It can be as simple as a way to relax the moment, a way to keep things lustful or a sign that it's okay to be a bit kinky. In fact, colloquial moments like a chuckle or a brief conversation opens the doors to opulence.
There are some instances in which humor is essential to maintain comfort through a night of sexual escapades. Humor is, for lack of a better term, the band-aid to any audible queef. (Did she just say "audible queef?" Yes, she did.Oh yes, she did.) This is an awkward scenario from both sides of the bed. My suggestion is that the lady gives her lover a look of apprehension and asks light-heartedly, "Um... did you just QUEEF?" Be ambitious with humor, it can rectify even the most distressing scenarios.
There are more serious issues that a good laugh can salvage than just humiliation from fartish sounds. Have you ever talked to your partner about your sexual relationship? Honesty and comfort are emblems of a healthy sexual relationship. Being able to speak your mind about the unspeakable is an absolute necessity. Before things get too heated, there are the obvious issues that need to be addressed, such as STDs, birth control, commitment, etc. Although these topics may seem inharmonious, if they are left out of discussion it is a serious warning sign that you and your lover are not as mature as you might have thought.
Asking a guy if he has a condom is not rude, nor is it weird.What's weird is when you are willing to risk months of excruciating urination, ugly genital truffles or permanent infertility (or perhaps little too much fertility for that matter).
Sex is dangerous, so safety is serious. But safety and humor are not mutually exclusive. So don't feel bashful to look him in the eye and say, "Baby, I hope you remembered your raincoat because otherwise, this looks like it will be a hurrican't." Better yet, bring a condom particular to your own quirky preference (like licorice-flavored leopard print).
In the words of sex expert Sue Johanson, "If you can't laugh about sex, you shouldn't be doing it." So while it may be hard... as long as the sex is safe and gratifying, it need not be difficult.
Kate Carlisle is a Health & Sexuality columnist. She can be reached at kate@cavalierdaily.com.
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