For a slasher movie, one can only expect so much. No slasher movie is perfect, and the genre hardly ever earns any critical accolades. If you’re looking for a reason to munch on some popcorn and scream at a screen, however, My Bloody Valentine 3-D is perfect for you.
My Bloody Valentine 3-D is a remake of the classic 1980s Canadian horror film of the same name. The film stars Jaime King (Sin City), Jensen Ackles (Days of Our Lives) and Kerr Smith, who looks a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio from The Departed. The film takes place in a small mining town that suffered a tragic set of murders 10 years before when a miner went on a killing spree. In the present day, the killings start to happen again, and the local authorities try and track down the killer.
One thing that stands out in this movie is, of course, the fact that it is in 3-D. This is a growing trend in recent films, such as Journey to the Center of the Earth, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour. While it sounds good and looks cool for about the first 10 minutes, it can get superfluous.
My Bloody Valentine 3-D is much gorier than the others, though. In fact, the deaths are almost obnoxiously terrifying — for starters, the killer cuts open each victim’s chest with a pickax, removes their heart and places it in a heart-shaped chocolate box.
Essential bits of classic slasher movies are still present in My Bloody Valentine 3-D. There is lots of sex, lots of blood and all of the promiscuous girls die. These plot devices are used in other horror classics such as Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Silent Night and Deadly Night 2.
The marriage of sex and violence shines in My Bloody Valentine 3-D. At the beginning of the film, there is a period of about 10 minutes during which a girl walks around completely nude with plenty of full frontal shots. What happens to her? She takes a pickax to the stomach.
Going along with the violence aspect, the costume that the killer miner wears is legitimately scary. His outfit conjures up images of aliens and frightful extraterrestrial creatures. His gas mask is especially creepy, with a breathing apparatus that has a distinctive sound reminiscent of Darth Vader.
Yet this film doesn’t take itself too seriously. The creators realize that people are not coming to the theaters to see the next Godfather, and both parties respect that.
At the core of this is a fun-filled horror movie experience, where you go to scream at a screen for about 90 minutes. For me, it was worth all $9 to go see a creepy miner cut out people’s hearts with a pickax. That just sounds awesome — and, little known fact, it’s a surprisingly perfect date movie.