"Don't fight the fabric. Change it!" - Elle Woods.
You can always count on Elle Woods to give killer fashion advice. Her wise words are not ones I listen to as often as I should when it comes to shopping for clothes. More times than I like to admit, I find myself in that same rut when I go shopping - trying on clothes I know will never fit me or look flattering on me. Sometimes I believe that somehow my body has miraculously transformed since the last time I went shopping, and now these particular clothes will fit me perfectly. Yet, as I grow older, I realize that it is time to wake up from this foolish, childish dream. It's time to surrender and no longer fight the fabric. Although it's difficult to look reality in the eye, I know I need to open my mind to the world of alternative possibilities and give up on what I originally wanted.
Walking across Grounds, I am envious of the people who can fit into Seven jeans, rock Ray-Ban Wayfarers and wear frilly J. Crew blouses. After several trips to Nordstrom, I have come to terms with the fact that Seven jeans will never fit me because I am too curvy and too short. I would love to fit into them, but realistically it is never going to happen. After a long, frustrating search for my perfect pair of jeans, I have discovered the fabulous world of J. Crew toothpick jeans, and they have become my new obsession. As for the Ray-Ban Wayfarers, they make me look absurd and ridiculous and will always be way too big for my face. My solution for this problem: Ray-Ban plastic aviators, which come in some pretty exciting and fun colors. It seems that until I find some sort of alternative or substitute, I will pine for precisely what I cannot have. But the instant I find that substitute, it will be a lot easier to break the vicious cycle and accept that some particular items will never fit me.
Breaking the cycle - that is probably the hardest part, but most of all, it is daunting to simply start. Perhaps the most beneficial thing when going into a store is to leave all expectations and desires at the door. Sometimes it seems that our own ideas of what we hope to find are exactly what inhibit us from considering other options; we remain entirely close-minded. Yes, we should pursue what we want to some extent, but at some point we have to think outside our own box. When we continually lead ourselves down the same dead-end path, we wind up disappointed.
We have only our own expectations to blame. Maybe these are expectations we set for ourselves, and maybe they are ones shaped by the influence of others, but until we let go of these expectations, we are not going to be able to open our minds to a world of what else we could wear. Although some may consider the world of fashion to be superficial and a waste of time, the fact is, the lessons we learn in the world of fashion can directly correlate to other areas of our lives.
So when I see a girl walking down the street confidently wearing a dress that flatters her figure, I know that she is someone who has come to terms with her own body shape, has an open mind and has courageously let go her attachment to the expectations of herself and others.
Kristin's column usually runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at k.ulmer@cavalierdaily.com.
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