A story told through the notes app on my phone

hu-sirotic

Humor columnist Veronica Sirotic takes us on a remarkable journey through her notes app. 

Veronica Sirotic | Cavalier Daily

Dearest readers,

If you are an eclectic dreamer, like yours truly, the 'notes' application on your phone is a well of brilliant and bold ideas. Who knows what could lead to the newest ground-breaking invention or the next best-seller? I myself jot down every brilliant thought I have ever had in this handy dandy little application. Below is a look behind the curtain, a glimpse into the genius, the tip of the iceberg that is my glorious brain. 

The selected notes below go from my first year to my third year, detailing my journey of self-discovery that I have gone through my semesters at U.Va.*

*The notes shown below are entirely accurate, chronological and taken directly from the Notes application on my phone. 

1 - 12 - 2017

Songs to Play When Sad

1. Can't help falling in love

2. Piano Man

3. Ride

4. Don't Forget 

5. Accidentally in Love

6. Hey Ya 

What I really love about this list is my music taste has not changed whatsoever since this note (or since 2009 for that matter), and I will, un-ironically, be walking down the aisle to “Accidentally In Love” from the Oscar-nominated masterpiece “Shrek 2.”  

Also the fact that I would genuinely listen to the 'Hey Ya', to the lyrics of 'onE TWO THREE, MY BABY DON'T MESS AROUND' when I was emo in the Kellogg lounge about our newly elected president, is highly indicative of the person I was first year. (and now). 

1 - 21 - 2017

Lambda party on Friday 

A true relic. Going to frat parties. First-year Veronica thought she was the coolest thing since sliced bread, rolling up to frat parties with a perfect ratio of men to women, a.k.a. no men, and proudly flaunting the coveted 'X' on her hand that did confirm she was "UVA 21."

I clearly remember typing in "the details" of the party in my notes app, thinking "I made it. This is it. College." If only I could say "Run, little Veronica, run! Turn back! Don't go into the house! It's a trap!" 

I should have known that frat-hopping was a mistake from my very first fraternity party. When the very attractive bartender asked me what I wanted to drink, I panicked because I could not think of a single alcohol, pulled a "When Harry Met Sally", and very loudly went "I'll have what SHE'S having." It was a Busch lite. 

3 - 1 - 2017

we're climbing a ladder that has no end

the rungs are endless

and made of capitalism

This was during my songwriting/burgeoning socialist phase when I very badly wanted to write the next 'American Idiot' and kickstart the proletariat revolution, but could not play any chords other than “C,” “G” or “A”on the piano and eventually gave up because everything vaguely sounded like “Let it Be” by the Beatles. 

8 - 4 - 2017

humor article ideas:

Good Friday? That's like every Friday!

Jesus 2: The Return of the Jedi

I felt very strongly that Easter was a hidden gem holiday that people were too afraid to make jokes about because it was more overtly religious than Christmas. However, as it turned out, I was afraid to actually write any of these articles because I thought they were too topical. Figures.

9 - 19 - 2017

I didn't see anybody at target.

I was just genuinely surprised I did not see anybody I knew in Target. 

2 - 6 - 2018

Kylie Jenner had her baby.

No explanation needed.

5 - 22 - 2018

Are women funny?

To this day, I still wonder about this.

5 - 29 - 2019

Very Weird Dream I had in Porec, Croatia

In the midst of a brutal battle, some fighting, did friends die? But hella medieval, hella game of thrones. im safe, I go to an inn with Leo DiCaprio but he has black hair and he's my boyfriend. explicit content.

A glimpse into exactly what I am attracted to: Black hair, Leonardo DiCaprio and Medieval battles. 

6 - 10 -2019

Jokes about Kevin Jonas

Depression... 

I had to look at this note for a long time before I finally figured out what kind of joke I was trying to write. Ready? Here it is: I knew I was depressed when I was younger because I used to say that Kevin Jonas was my favorite Jonas Brother. Bazinga.  

4 - 25 - 2019

Weird Things I have Noticed About France

— too much Tommy Hilfiger 

This is literally the only note I took during my semester abroad in France. I roamed the streets in my Target sales while everybody had Tommy H. plastered over their skinny, cigarette-smoking bodies. Sacre bleu! Quel horreur! 

And with that, dear readers, the curtain falls back into place, the iceberg is fully submerged. A glimpse is all you get, naughty children. What mysterious notes will this final year bring? What genius will spring from my fourth-year hijinks? Only time will tell. And the Notes app. 

Veronica Sirotic is a Humor Columnist and was the Humor Editor during the 129th term of The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at humor@cavalierdaily.com.

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