You’ve stepped onto Grounds for the first time as a newly-minted University student. You have your dorm room and class schedule. At this point in the journey you may begin to wonder what you should wear on the first day of classes. As a rising fourth year, guilty of only a few FDOC transgressions — all of them blissfully unrelated to fashion — let me give you a list of five things not to wear to class.
1. Lilly Pulitzer
There is always one first-year girl who seems to think that wearing an abundance of Lilly Pulitzer makes her cool. It doesn’t. It looks like you threw a peeled orange in the washer. This is a preppy school, not an aesthetically challenged one. Keep the headache inducing citrus at home. Relying on brands in general is a bad idea. If you’re wearing a name brand because you actually like the clothing, that’s one thing. But wearing brands only because they’re brands is as transparent as it is expensive. Don’t drain your coffers trying to match the polos and pearls reputation that the University boasts. Most people will wear sweatpants to class.
2. Matching Dorm Apparel
Nothing screams “I’m a first year!” quite like a group of 15 kids walking across Grounds in matching sweatshirts with “Gibbons” stitched across the front. Some dorms, clubs and rec teams spend exorbitant amounts of money on matching apparel and you can bet that once the first-years get theirs, they will eat, sleep and study in them — especially if they are an awkwardly bright color, like bar sign blue or jail yard orange. Wearing a uniform is great when you're on a sports team, in a Catholic school or joining a cult. But not when you’re joining a university community. You don’t need to feel shame for your innate first-year sins, but maybe don’t broadcast to the world that you’re 18, you’ve never done your taxes by yourself and you’re gullible as all get out.
3. Khaki Shorts
First-year boys, level with me — why is it that you feel the need to wear khaki shorts? If you’re gonna wear the horrible fabric that is khaki, at least wear pants so that you don’t look like Steve Irwin. Khaki is perhaps the most uninteresting fabric to ever grace our eyes. Fresh off the high school conveyor belt of unoriginality, first years often walk around wearing slight variations on the same outfit. There are several fabrics that aid and abet this behavior. Khaki is the ultimate culprit. You’re in college now. Wear what you want, but please for the love of God, wear something original.
4. A Full Suit
This is about as preppy as preppy can get. Unless you want people to place bets on how many horses your family owns, save the suit for your first formal. As I understand it, a full suit is also one of the most uncomfortable outfits a soul can wear. Whatever you don on day one, you’ll have to sit in, sweat in, run in, eat in and study in. The first day of classes is a marathon, not a sprint, so dress the part. Go into your room, put on your proposed outfit, lock the door and do the first rep of a crossfit routine. Then, and only then, will you know if your FDOC outfit is comfortable enough for the chaos impending.
5. Another School’s Emblem
If you wear anything with a Virginia Tech logo on it, God help you. That is an unforgivable sin. I would rather you parade around in your birthday suit than a Tech T-Shirt. As I see it there are three reasons someone would wear another University's T-Shirt on their first day as a Wahoo. The first — ignorance. Don’t be ignorant. The second — a sibling or parent attended another university and you seek to represent their Alma Mater. Don’t do this, U.Va. is your new family. Blood may be thicker than water, but Bold Rock is thicker than both. The third — U.Va. wasn’t your top choice, you fear you might have done better and you seek to communicate that through the apparel of another university. Don’t be this kid. You go to U.Va. now. Own it. You have only but begun finding out what an awesome school U.Va. is, so begin that adventure repping your own colors.
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