Student body blushes for UVA Crushes

Dean of Students Allen Groves comes forward as the Hoos’ own Cupid

A revealing online post Monday night exposed the brilliant mastermind behind the UVA Crushes Facebook page as none other than Dean of Students Allen Groves.

“I saw all these problems with romantic relationships around Grounds, and I said to myself, ‘You know what, Allen, I think you can solve this issue,’” Groves said in the post to Facebook. “And I thought of the perfect solution — create a forum for students to post really vague declarations of love for people they hardly know.”

UVA Crushes is a humorous and often heartwarming Facebook page for the rejected and the hopeless. The page allows those who have suddenly and irrevocably fallen in love with strangers to reveal these feelings to thousands of Facebook users and hope to find, by some other-worldly miracle, the feelings are reciprocated.

The love guru, as some may call Groves, has been in charge of the page since its creation.

“As the high-five master of U.Va., I’m kind of already a legend here at the University,” Groves said. “I thought by creating UVA Crushes, I would earn a second title as the school’s love guru. And I did.”

Groves said he had no choice but to give the people what they wanted — to see the man behind the curtain of hopeless love revealed.

“It was honestly just a really emotional experience running the page,” Groves said tearfully. “Just seeing how happy the page made everyone was too much for me. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. The world had to know that I am the anonymous love doctor who has been playing matchmaker for years now.”

Reactions to Groves’ announcement have varied. Third-year College student Jennifer Vaughn, who broke up with her boyfriend of one year after learning he wrote a submission for someone else, was less than amused.

“I don’t want to go into the details, but the basic gist of it was that he was swooning over some girl wearing Jack Rogers sandals and a Vineyard Vines shirt and carrying a Lily Pulitzer day planner,” Vaughn said. “I just couldn’t believe he would write something like that to someone other than me.”

Groves said despite the host of successful love stories born of UVA Crushes posts, many students remain cynical as they continue their pursuit of the elusive “soulmate.” He remains optimistic.

“I do get bitter and undermining posts on the page,” Groves said. “But overall, I find it amazing how much love one person can have for someone he or she saw only for half a second. It’s not creepy at all.”

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