For many students at the University, coming back from Christmas vacation means reuniting with friends, scheduling classes and most prominently, rush! Anyone who has participated in rush knows it is an exhausting task — you will never talk to so many humans, ward off so many illnesses or wear so many presentable outfits as you do during those daunting weeks. It’s a trying time for all, with Bid Day painted as the shining beacon of hope at the end of the process. There’s just one thing that nobody tells you — Bid Day is awkward.
I’ve experienced it from both ends — as a “rushee” and “rusher,” and there is no getting around that aspect of the day. While I cannot speak on behalf of fraternities, I can speak on behalf of sororities, and I’m here to tell new members of any chapter that it is completely normal to have felt weird on Bid Day — this does not mean you are in the wrong place.
Social media plays a large role in the Bid Day hype — if you have Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat, you can’t avoid the Bid Day craze, even if you wanted to. Sitting on the floor of Memorial Gymnasium and ripping open your bid card is an exciting moment, but as soon as you begin storming the field with your new pledge class, you might realize how few of them you actually know. Similarly, when you reach the cluster of glittery sorority girls waiting and cheering for you, you may only recognize a few of them who you talked to for five minutes during rush.
The rest of the evening is one big, sober event that might feel more like a middle school birthday party than “the best day ever.” Throughout the get-to-know-you games, pizza feast and karaoke or trampoline park visits, the new members who previously knew one another tend to stick together while others make small talk. Bid Day is much more fun for the older girls who are already best friends and want to celebrate getting a fantastic new pledge class, but these types of relationships take time to form.
I remember feeling very overwhelmed during the first few weeks of being in my sorority. There were so many emails appearing in my inbox and so many orientation events to go to. It was extremely difficult to balance school and social life because I didn’t want to miss out on getting to know my pledge class.
You feel pressured to feel bonded to your “sisters” — even though they are essentially strangers — and it’s a daunting task in itself to remember so many new names. If your first-semester friends mainly went to other chapters together, it can be hard to watch them feel so comfortable around one another while you have to make all new friends. Know that it’s best to have chosen the house that you felt most at home in during rush — it will pay off in the long run, as it did for me.
I’m going to be completely honest — it takes a really long time to feel bonded with your entire pledge class, especially because they are getting bigger in number. It wasn’t until after spring break when Sigma Chi’s Derby Days took place that mine started becoming a family. There’s nothing like a little healthy competition between sororities in the name of philanthropy to bond a pledge class. I’d even say that the following semester was when my pledge class truly became close. We were all so much more comfortable around one another and could enjoy ourselves at mixers and date functions better because of this. Most importantly, going through rush on the other side together sealed the deal — it’s hard not to become close to everyone when you’re locked in a house for weeks on end.
So, what steps can you take right now? Even though your sorority is most likely going crazy planning events for you, reach out to girls in your pledge class yourself. Schedule dinners at O-Hill or on the Corner with smaller groups so that you can get to know one another on a deeper level. Meet up and get ready together before going to sorority events. Sit next to someone from your sorority during class — this is how I became close with one of my current best friends.
Most importantly, to talk to older girls about how you’re feeling. We were all once there too, and we will be happy to tell you our awkward Bid Day experiences and struggles to integrate into our new pledge classes. Just remember that you are in your chapter for a reason — the older girls want you there and hope to give you the same great experiences that they’ve had. Slowly but surely, you will feel like you truly belong. Just stick with it, and give it time.
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