SUDDENLY and without warning, four years disappear.
It is the year 2000 -- graduation time -- and we fourth-year pseudo-journalists have been asked to impart some wisdom upon the loyal readers of The Cavalier Daily. Thus, I have included a total of 10 suggestions (five dos and five don'ts) for you to get the maximum benefit out of your short time here. Enjoy.
1.Don't streak the Lawn. Although this "tradition" sounds invigorating, it can lead to a plethora of problems -- like catching a cold in the night air or getting arrested by hefty policemen. Plus, shady people who lurk behind columns do not deserve to see your figure no matter how many times you've been to the AFC.
2. Do visit Monticello. With everyone here bowing to Mr. Thomas Jefferson, a surprising number of students have never seen the house of our University's founder. It is a spectacular work of art -- a signature of America's spirit and ingenuity -- that should highlight your respite in Charlottesville.
3. Don't cheer for U.Va. in the Duke student section of Cameron Indoor Stadium. You will get eaten alive by those monsters, Coach K will frown at you and then you will be asked to leave by a 15-year-old kid. The Cavs will lose there anyway.
4. Do shoot many photos. This sounds trite, but you'll look back at those images with fond memories and hardy laughter. Bring your camera with you to the Lawn when it snows, that infamous poker game in your friend's room, and the Florida State football game. But if the Dalai Lama visits us again, turn off your flash.
5. Don't get a dining meal plan. The food here can be pitiful! On Parent's Weekend, and about three times each semester, Newcomb Hall serves enjoyable edibles, like Salmoncakes or Filet Mignon. Yet every other day of the year, you will encounter cold hotdogs, rock-solid bagels, recycled tomato soup, rotten apples with two-centimeter holes, and of course "Old Fashioned Meatloaf", loaded with strands of chewy slithers, pieces of unknown metallic-tasting chunks and the occasional human hair. However, the people who dish out this slop are incredibly friendly if you say hello.
6. Do take science classes. Involve yourself in the delicious assortment of biology, mathematics and (gasp!) chemistry classes offered here. The University gives us the unique opportunity to sample everything from Infectious Disease to Organic Chemistry to Population Ecology. Having a real grasp on science information will serve you well. But avoid physics laboratory unless you know Chinese.
7. Don't patronize the University of Virginia Bookstore. They overcharge everything by 25 percent (according to my estimates). If you need batteries, go to WalMart; for books, hit the Web or the Student Bookstore on the Corner; and when you require U.Va. paraphernalia, visit Mincer's. That is, unless you want to feed the corporate setup that is supposedly assisting students.
8. Do phone your grandparents. Tell grandma what a wonderful cook she is and let grandpa know that you can't wait to see him again. It's just the right thing to do.
9. Don't trust the honor system. It doesn't trust you. As a bright-eyed first-year, I thought I was in a special place, devoid of lying, cheating, stealing and other idiocy. Imagine my horror having to watch students blatantly fib to each other, witness classmates exchange notes during tests, and have my bookbag and calculator stolen from the Newcomb Hall Theater's lounge. What community of trust?!
10. Do join the newspaper. It can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. I had no idea what I was in for when I first signed up to write one article for the Life section of The Cavalier Daily. In the course of three years, after writing that initial article in 1996, I became a senior writer, an associate editor, founded a new department called the Health and Science page, became editor of that page, and after one year of interviewing science professors, hospital employees and a Nobel Prize winner, I happily retired from the paper in order to join other clubs. Although I have been just one sparkplug in the large engine known as The Cavalier Daily, any University student who is truly in-tune with events occurring here knows that without the paper, this University would stall in the middle of a road full of traffic. So join the machine; it's well oiled.
(David Z. Rose was a Health and Science editor and associate editor.)
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