Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.
Most of you are probably aware of artificial intelligence. Some of you may have even seen the discourse surrounding its role in society. But if there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that all of us know who Tung Tung Tung Sahur is. Our contemporary meme economy would be simply unrecognizable were it not for the advent of AI-generated imagery, audio and text. Thus, as a member of the over-eight-hours-of-screentime club, I loathe those jaundiced, bitter fools who want to pop our AI bubble for good.
In a world of uncertainty and remarkably unfunny public figures, it’s Tung or be Tunged. We’re in a memetic arms race where only the silly will survive, and AI is the surest way for the righteous to win this new war. Keeping that in mind, here are several case studies to demonstrate what I’m talking about — I’ll try to keep things brief, and I want my readers to remember that they can always put on a movie in the background should this article prove to be too long. Without further ado, let’s slop it up.
First, allow me to direct your attention to Exhibit A — An AI-generated chatbot of Vecna from “Stranger Things” calling a hotel to try to book a room for Jan. 7. This #funny Instagram Reel comes from user @bobousz, an account with a self-proclaimed focus on “AI Scambaiting.” Only half of their reels are actually scambaiting, though, because badgering customer service workers is also pretty funny!
Anyway, Vecna. Or AI-generated Vecna. The distinction doesn’t really matter, since the last season of “Stranger Things” was probably written by AI anyway. In a vacuum, using AI to assist one's writing is perfectly fine. But the “Stranger Things” showrunners must’ve used Grok or something, since the final episode of this show was so poor that people seriously theorized it was a fake-out psyop fantasy created by the show’s main antagonist.
The already-artificial aesthetic of this show, when coupled with the notion that its undead wizard villain both has a credit card and wants to book a hotel room, lend themselves to creating an exceptionally funny bit of short-form content. Could an impersonator do the same thing? Probably. But what if you had like 10 impersonators and they didn’t care about things like “tact” or “empathy”? That’s all data centers, baby!
Now let’s shuffle along to Exhibit B — frat DoorList thumbnail images. If you’ve gotten even a hint of a nightlife at the University, you’ve probably seen at least a dozen of these by now. What was formerly accomplished by slapping neon text on a dark background, a stock image or a photo of the University is now accomplished by feeding ChatGPT a sentence and waiting like 20 seconds.
This is what the liberal mind cannot comprehend — the power to save frat pledges a minute or two they would have otherwise dithered away on a pirated copy of Adobe Photoshop. We all lead busy lives. Most of our readers go to college, and I’m sure you all get that. So why isn’t it okay to generate some amusing “skeleton frat guy holding a beer” images for our Halloween party, Alex? You’re not even the social chair, you don’t understand it. It’s worth the water, dude.
“But if AI is so funny and useful and awesome, why isn’t the government using it?” you might ask. Well, my ignorant reader, that brings us right to Exhibit C — the White House TikTok page. The brightest minds of the second Trump administration have used AI-generated “content” to, uh, bolster the innovative message for change spearheaded by President Donald Trump, of course.
Even if you disagree with the White House, AI is just the fix you need. When The Cavalier Daily Editorial Board alluded to AI as “an opportunity to disrupt the status quo,” this is what they meant! Anti-Trump advocates should simply use these neutral tools to disseminate fictional videos to millions of impartial voters. Just as it is to Tung or be Tunged, we very much live in a truth or be Truthed world.
In the end, all of this evidence goes to show that AI can do it all. From the highest office in the land down to your own personal algorithm, AI makes the world a sillier place. Need a laugh? AI has your back! Need a friend? AI’s right there for you. Need a job? Well … if your degree is “bound for the history books” and your dream job is “redundant,” it sounds like you’re perfectly qualified to start training a large language model!
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