THE CAVALIER Daily must bedoing a good job these days, because not only was my inbox empty this week, but I am forced to choose a more nit-picky topic than usual. That topic is word choice. Newspapers have finite space, so reporters are often urged to use as few words as possible.
Because of this, it is particularly important to make sure that all the words count. The result is that news stories aren't saturated with adjectives, and that reporters must make sure the adjectives they do use are as meaningful as possible. For example, The Cavalier Daily reported in a Wednesday front page story about an accident at the parking garage construction site: Officials said the project is proceeding in a timely manner. What does that mean? Further down, the story includes the expected completion date of Sept. 25, adding that, While the project currently is running slightly behind schedule, it is still expected to meet its anticipated opening date. It would be more accurate and take up less space to simply say that the project was not delayed by the accident, and that developers expect it to be completed by Sept. 25. A Friday Life story about First Year Players described the Guys and Dolls as "a musical with a standard plot based in Chicago."
What is a standard plot? It would have been better to briefly describe the plot and tell the reader when the story is set, and that it is a story about love and gambling. "Standard plot" is meaningless. As well, I couldn't tell from this story whether it was meant to be a review of the play or a feature about FYP. The paper would have done better to focus on one or the other. In reviews and any feature writing, writers do have greater latitude in word choice. They can be more colorful and more verbose. But they should still make sure that all of their words are necessary and useful.
A review of Michael's Bistro in Fridays paper began with a critique of dining halls and the words: Believe it or not, other dining options close to class are available. I believe it, and I bet everyone at the University does too. It's April, and all first-year students have no doubt discovered the Corner by now. The "believe it or not" construction just takes up space without being relevant.
Back to adjectives for a moment. Reporters must be vigilant not just in making sure their adjectives mean something, but in evaluating whether the adjectives convey any bias. For example, a Tuesday story trumpeted two major diversity initiatives announced by University President John Casteen, III and Board of Visitors Rector Gordon Rainey, Jr. Whether or not the initiatives are major is certainly a matter of opinion, particularly when you're talking about a subject as touchy as diversity is in Charlottesville. Better to let Casteen or Rainey call the initiatives major in a quote, than for The Cavalier Daily to make them so in the first paragraph.
Adjectives should also be watched in photograph captions. A Wednesday standalone photo on page A3 had the following caption: Lewis Black takes off on one of his characteristic rants Tuesday night in Old Cabell Hall. First of all, who is Lewis Black? A quick Google search proved him to be a comedian, and while I know I'm isolated up here in Alaska, I'm sure I'm not the only reader who didn't know who he was. Newspapers should never assume that readers know who's who. If The Cavalier Daily can call John Casteen the president every time they write about him, they should certainly identify people who get less ink.
Second, characteristic rant is not very informative, particularly for those of us who do not know who Lewis Black is. And generally speaking, characteristic rant is not a very objective way to describe what a person said, whether the term is meant to be derogatory, or vaguely flattering, as it appears to be intended in the caption.
Lastly, I'd like to compliment the paper on the "War in Brief" boxes its been running at the bottom of the front page every day. That feature is informative and useful for readers who want to know the major developments but don't have time to read the reams of news coming out of Baghdad. It's particularly appropriate for use in a college paper, and is an attractive layout element to boot. Nice work.
(Masha Herbst can be reached at ombud@cavalierdaily.com.)
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