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10 reasons this column is not about Pete Gillen

I should feel compelled to write about Pete Gillen this week. As a friend of mine put it, "You've got to be hoping Gillen gets fired because that's like, four free columns."

I should be chomping at the bit to jump on the bandwagon and rip Pete Gillen on his way out of University Hall -- Or, if I felt so inclined, bemoan the firing of a man who cared about this community as much as any other coach could and yet was the scapegoat for a program problems that transcended its head coach.

I won't write about Gillen though, mainly because every other sportswriter in the greater Virginia area wrote about it either yesterday today -- or will in the near future. But I also won't write more about Pete or the impending hiring because there are plenty of other things that are more fun to talk about than a man losing his job.

So, in lieu of more Gillen-related information, here are 10 reasons I don't have to or chose not to write about the Sultan of Sweat (apologies to fitness guru Richard Simmons, who, previously unbeknownst to me, has been called that).

The first reason: The ACC Tournament, a terrific finish to Championship week, never ceases to disappoint. Every team had a storyline in Washington, but my favorite moment came on Sunday. When Georgia Tech center Luke Schenscher fell down, Duke's Daniel Ewing rolled on top of him and the 6-foot-1-inch Australian shoved Ewing off of him. The two were disengaged, but Ewing continued to talk all the way up the court, surely saying the nicest things about Schenscher's parents and his well-developed hook shot.

The camera cut to Mike Krzyzewski, who you could actually hear yell, "Daniel, just shut up!" Krzyzewski then wheeled around and let Duke reserve David McClure, who was obviously aiding Ewing from the bench, have it. Krzyzewski knelt down with his back to the court and yelled at the stunned freshman -- who looks like he just graduated seventh grade -- before an assistant coach took over and kept McClure catatonic for another 10 minutes. By the way, McClure logged three minutes after Ewing and DeMarcus Nelson fouled out, went 0-2 from the line and finished with zero points.

Did I say 10 reasons? I think the first reason produced a good enough story to count as four reasons. I'll move through the next six a little more quickly.

The fifth reason: the NFL offseason. The draft is a little more than a month away, and I can't wait to see where a host of Cavaliers will be selected. Plus, I'm hoping the Packers draft at least one of the Cavalier graduates, seeing as they've had a rough offseason so far. Perhaps Elton Brown could take over one of the spots vacated by recently-departed free agent guards Marco Rivera and Mike Wahle.

The sixth reason (using my liberal interpretation of counting) I don't have to talk about Pete is that the NHL is heating up, and I can't get enough of Jerome Iginla. Oh wait -- no NHL. Still. And I still don't particularly care, unless they decide to skip the season and go straight to the Stanley Cup playoffs. Every year.

The seventh reason? Two words: N-I-T F-E-V-E-R. Oral Roberts is my sleeper team, and yes, I can guarantee that I will not watch a single NIT game.

The eighth reason I won't discuss the Gillen resignation? I'm too busy being outraged that on EA Sports' MVP Baseball 2005 the game footage cuts away as you attempt to charge the mound. I'm looking to recreate the Robin Ventura-Nolan Ryan beating, and all I see are the players coming on the field before a menu screen comes up that says my player was ejected. This is a travesty; I want to at least see one punch, and for $30 I don't think that's too much to ask.

Why would I want to discuss the future of the Virginia program when tomorrow is a major holiday? Yes, St. Patrick's Day, fine, but the ninth reason I refuse to write a substantial piece about Gillen is that it's NCAA tourney time. Fire up your online betting account, fill out your bracket and get ready for the four most entertaining days of the year.

My final four picks: UNC, Syracuse, Illinois and Wake Forest. Alright, that officially does it, not a single one of those teams will make it to St. Louis.

The final reason I won't write about the Gillen resignation is because one of my esteemed colleagues, J.D. Moss, asked me to "steer clear" of talking about potential Gillen replacements. Tomorrow, Moss will begin driving the bandwagon for the future of Virginia basketball, so watch out for that.

Look at that, 823 words without any substantial talk of Pete Gillen. I knew I could do it.

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