Who hasn't had an obsession at one time or another?Whether it be about double caramel macchiatos, suede shoes or "Nip/Tuck," obsession is not healthy -- especially when it comes to people.
Obsessive crushes are a big problem. Actually, it's more than a problem -- it is a catastrophe. If terrorists could only get a hold of Brad Pitt, they'd have much of the country on their knees. But seriously, infatuation not only leads you into an inferno of delusions, you're also far less likely to advertise yourself in an attractive way through the heaps of nervousness.
My first year at NYU was well spent with my girl friends joking about the sillies of our new lives -- like the name appearing on my fake ID ... "Katherine Drunker."Real subtle, Miss Drunker. Real subtle. Anyway, the good times raiding Urban Outfitters and flirting with bouncers came when I met a cute Latino living two floors below me. For the following months, I would manage to turn every conversation with my friends into an in-depth analysis about Pete's unbelievably adorable Marvin the Martian boxers peeping out of his baggy jeans. Sad, but true, it was the Martian boxers that stole my heart.
The worst part about my infatuation was how strange I would act around him. If he so much as gave me a head nod in passing, I would turn a deep shade of pink and mumble "Oh hey ... Pete, right? Like 'meat' but with a 'P'?" Ouch ... I never stood a chance. I was totally immobilized by my lust.
The thing is, I never stood a chance because I had created a "Perfect Pete." I had only left room for disappointments and misapprehensions when I would come to discover that we all have blemishes -- even Meat with a P.
Transferring to U.Va. quickly disintegrated my infatuation and replaced it with self-mockery at my warped lunacy.But not every unrequited crush is alleviated by a physical relocation. Nonetheless, it is relocation that is the key to escaping heart handicaps. Relocating your interests and your time into more productive ways -- like going to a salsa club regularly or joining a political activist club -- will liberate you from the leech in your mind. It not only distracts you from infatuation but also opens the door to a heap of opportunities to meet new prospects.
Ultimately, though, infatuation is what kills any chance for a healthy relationship. So by surrendering to your pride and committing to the notion that you have to get over it, is the only way you ever have a chance.
Obsessions are destructive, and like a caramel macchiato fixation, there's a whole world of new prospects -- such as the gingerbread latte -- that are tragically being neglected.
Kate Carlisle is a Health & Sexuality columnist. She can be reached at kate@cavalierdaily.com.
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