It is fair game to judge a book by its cover. Right now, I am not talking about books. I am talking about classifications of people.
Before continuing, I would like to note I have never been a consultant for GQ nor do I presume to know a lot about fashion. I recognize my observations are trivial. With that said, I am confident the look I am about to describe would be - and should be - greeted with the same aversion many have to the so-called "guido" look. I am referring to my best estimation of the European equivalent to Jersey Shore style - "Eurotrash."
Google tells me "Eurotrash" is like many pejorative words - there are a variety of uses. Most frequently it refers to young, often rich people with a specific look and an affinity for partying. It tends to be an insulting American moniker, but "Eurotrash" is also evident in the British lexicon.
Introduced to the word and classification of said style, I quickly found parallels to the "guido" look. Like the much maligned American style, the European counterpart is very calculated, flashy and delicately groomed. Because I have an even more difficult time understanding and deciphering female style, I will stick to observations about guys.
Beginning with hair, it's important to notice the bounty of scruff. To remain authentic to the form, a week's worth of beard growth is critical, unless you plan on maintaining a soul patch. Up top, there are a variety of possibilities, the most popular being the faux hawk. These come in a variety of models, often bleached or highlighted but always loaded with mounds of gel.
If not ready to go full faux, it is acceptable to sport the half faux in the bang region, basically an upward and inward combing design cresting at a sharp triangular peak.
Another equally gelled specimen is similar to the "blowout" "guido" look, except the front of the hair is plastered straight forward. The mullet mantra "business in the front, party in the back" would be an appropriate descriptor for this hairdo, albeit to a lesser degree.
Moving on down. When it comes to shirts, there is an array of options. Form-fitting button-ups seem to be a good way to go, but only if buttoning is done sparingly. Another option in outerwear styling is a trend that seemed to expire around 2006 in America: the popped collar, which is still very much alive in Europe.
One day on the subway, I saw the wild beast that is the double-popped collar and was taken back to sophomore year of high school. It made me wonder whether the look took longer to make its way across the Atlantic or whether it started here and has just had a much longer shelf life.
Moving on to the rest of the outfit; pants and blazers are tight. No exceptions.
To accessorize, sunglasses are often huge and found as completely acceptable nightwear. If going the watch route, go big or go home - always and only, flashy and massive.
Also, when it's time to club, it's time to shower in cologne. Here lies my biggest problem with the style. There's nothing wrong with smelling nice. There is, however, something wrong with crop dusting Acqua Di Gio down two city blocks. Basically, a person's smell shouldn't linger in an elevator for 30 minutes.
At the bottom of the outfit, the most likely find are leather shoes. They can be brown or black, but they are always pointy.
To easily find this group of people, you need only attend a techno club or a place where bartenders are snappy with their Red Bull and vodkas. I can envision another MTV reality show. It might offend more than the use of "guido" to call it "Eurotrash," but MTV knows there is an already existent fan base for such classy material.
Alex's column runs biweekly Tuesdays. He can be reached at a.foreman@cavalierdaily.com.
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