Cold and flu season may be winding down for the rest of the general population, but that doesn't matter to me, for my fear of illness is nearly eternal. You know that girl who sits down next to you and immediately breaks out the Purell she keeps handily on the outside of her backpack? Maybe you've seen her in O-Hill, holding up traffic as she waits for the hand sanitizer to dispense. I am that girl.
Let's be real, no one really like germs. No one thinks, "Hey, I really want to go snuggle up with the person who has the stomach flu." But I consider myself particularly adverse to germs and the illnesses to which they can lead. Certainly some people are more cautious than others. Two of my greatest pet peeves are people who don't wash their hands and people who don't cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze. The deepest circle of my loathing is reserved for those who don't practice basic hygiene, particularly those sneezers.
My aversion to germs is not happenstance. It didn't appear after a great epiphany; it's more of a lifelong thing. I remember coming home from kindergarten and telling my mom how I didn't want to share my crayons anymore because people's germs could be spread easily that way. And then there was the time I refused to wear the furry coat my grandmother made for me because all of the other second graders would pet it and get their germs on it. Clearly, I wasn't your average elementary school kid.\nLater, sometime during my middle school years, this fear of germs subsided somewhat as I realized that illness meant staying home. Sick days would be spent leisurely - napping and catching up on TV shows. I started to like these days, until college, when that all changed.
In college, my fear of sickness took on a new level of desperation. I was pretty much sick the entire first semester of first year. I had multiple sinus infections, the swine flu concurrent with an ear infection, which developed into pneumonia, and later the regular flu. I was in Student Health just about as much as I was in my dorm. The staff at Student Health became my second family. The pharmacist there still recognizes me and still knows what medications I take regularly. I could find my way to the X-ray rooms at the hospital without needing guidance. These are all sad but true facts.
"Sick" days in college are easier to take. You don't need a note or even a legitimate reason. Didn't sleep a lot the night before? Skip your 9 a.m. Feeling like it's better to rest in bed than to risk venturing out into the dreary spring rain? Get notes from a friend. On the surface, college sick days seem great. "Sick" days can be fun and restful, but real sick days are no fun.
After being so sick that semester, I saw how much I missed out on. I was left to dream of the frat parties, the dining hall dinners and the Fashion Square trips, while my friends were gone having fun. I lived vicariously through them instead. I stared at the cinder block wall next to my bed while they stared first year in the face. While I dread the unpleasantness that is illness and all of the work I undoubtedly will get behind on, what I really dread missing out on is the time spent with friends.
Spring is great for many reasons - sundresses, new flowers and Foxfield - but it also marks the beginning of allergy season. Every headache might just be the result of the ridiculous amount of pollen blowing in the beautiful spring breeze, but it could also be something much worse. Considering that my greatest illness fear is pink eye, allergy season brings even more near constant worry. I'd rather not have eyeballs than have them infected with pink eye, leaving me to constantly question, "Is it just a little pink line in my eye or something much worse?"
For those of you like me and those of you attempting to avoid becoming like me, I make one suggestion: Stay off WebMD. Particularly, stay off the Symptom Checker. The Symptom Checker turns a little headache into meningitis time and time again. I used to love WebMD. It was consistently listed on my top sites, but then I realized it only perpetuated my fear. I had to pull the IV bag out of my arm; I had to stop.
My friends who don't know me well think my fear is ridiculous. Even most of my good friends would agree. Yes, I'll admit it's a little irrational, but when my racing mind takes control, it makes sense. So now maybe you understand that yes, the Purell smell is obnoxious, but for some of us, it is completely necessary. Even if it's only in my mind, I feel much safer knowing that my hands are 99.9 percent germ-free. So do me a favor, use a little hand sanitizer too. I'll be more than happy to share. It won't kill you, only a lot of the germs.
Abbi's column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at a.sigler@cavalierdaily.com.
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