"I SCORED in the 99th percentile on the ACT. I'm actually an Eagle Scout. I own and operate my own small business. If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I'd make you very proud.
I'm not really so different from any of your children. My family really isn't so different from yours. After all, your family doesn't derive its sense of worth from being told by the state: 'You're married. Congratulations.'
No. The sense of family comes from the commitment we make to each other. To work through the hard times so we can enjoy the good ones. It comes from the love that binds us. That's what makes a family.
In the next two hours I'm sure we're going to hear plenty of testimony about how damaging having gay parents is on kids. But in my 19 years, not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple. And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character."
This is an excerpt of the testimony given by Zach Wahls to the Iowa House of Representatives earlier this year in that state's debate over same-sex marriage. Zach Wahls is a 19-year-old student at the University of Iowa with same-sex parents. His testimony is incredibly powerful and needs to be heard, especially in Virginia.
In Virginia, adoption regulations require a couple to be married before they can adopt. Proposed changes to regulations, set in motion under former Gov. Tim Kaine, would add sexual orientation to a list of criteria that adoption agencies cannot discriminate against when looking for potential parents. The proposed changes, however, will not allow same-sex couples to adopt in the state because same-sex couples cannot legally be married in Virginia.
Gov. Bob McDonnell has until April 16 to offer an official recommendation on the policy change. McDonnell already has expressed opposition to sexual orientation as an added protection. "Many of our adoption agencies are faith-based groups that ought to be able to establish what their own policies are," he stated. Virginia Del. Robert Marshall, R-Prince William, also has expressed opposition to the proposed alteration. "These changes may cause some church-run adoption agencies to discontinue their services in Virginia," he said. "They shouldn't have to choose between violating their moral views or serving children in need of families."
The debate in Virginia is inherently troubling. Instead of debating whether gay couples can adopt children, state politicians led by Marshall are arguing that even single gay parents should not be allowed to adopt. The arguments of McDonnell and Marshall are disconcerting. It is disgraceful for adoption agencies, regardless of religious affiliation, to deny children a home based on the sexual orientation of a potential parent. It is in the best interests of children to find them a loving home. Is this not the purpose of adoption agencies?
Not only should McDonnell support sexual orientation as an added adoption protection, but also he should support adoption by same-sex couples. Some believe that being raised by a mother and father is the only way to develop properly, which discounts many Americans raised by single parents who turned out just fine. Opponents of gay adoption argue like Marshall that gay people are "intrinsically disordered" and that, therefore, having same-sex parents is detrimental to the health of the child. The facts prove otherwise.
The National Adoption Center, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Medical Association all affirm that same-sex parents do not have an adverse effect on children. In fact, one study states that same-sex parents seem to have a beneficial effect on their children. According to a 17-year study by the American Academy of Pediatrics, children raised by lesbian parents get higher grades, have more self-esteem and are better behaved. This, of course, does not discount opposite sex parents, but is a testament to the fact that same-sex parents raise their children just as competently.
The Child Welfare League of America argues, "Any attempt to preclude or prevent gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals or couples from parenting, based solely on their sexual orientation, is not in the best interest of children." In Virginia, there are currently more than 6,000 children in foster care. That is more than 6,000 children who are awaiting loving homes. When the state denies same-sex couples the ability to adopt, the biggest victims are the children.
In the end, what makes a family is not a mom and a dad, or two dads or a single parent. What makes a family is love and commitment. If children are loved and supported, they will turn out just fine. Instead of ignoring the facts and continuing unjust and outdated policies, McDonnell and state legislators like Marshall should have a conversation with Zach Wahls.
Jamie Dailey's column appears Friday in The Cavalier Daily.\n
He can be reached at j.dailey@cavalierdaily.com.
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