Dear Edgar,
I recently went through boys' rush. It was the best 20 bucks I ever spent. I had a raging good time but ended up without a bid. At first it was okay, because who actually wants to pledge? But all the guys on my hall pledged, and now I feel left out. We used to hang out all the time, but now they're busy with their various bros. I also feel left out of night life because I don't know if it's OK for me to go to frats I'm not in, and my fake hasn't come in the mail yet. What should I do?
Thanks man,
Brother of Gamma Delta Iota (GDI)
Dear GDI,
I know right now it feels as if you're the only one who didn't pledge a fraternity, but trust me, there are many other guys in the same situation as you, and they're probably feeling the same way you are. It seems like the entirety of the school becomes centered around the Greek system during rush, but really it's just one part of social and extracurricular life here at the University. Only 30 percent of students are a part of Greek life, so although it may not seem like it now, you're actually in the majority. Joining a fraternity isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean your social life is doomed for the next three years. Join a club or sports team you might not have considered before, and start meeting as many people as you can. Although you might not be able to go out as much with the guys on your hall, that doesn't mean that you can't still hang out. Try to go to dinner together a few times a week and plan different activities for the weekends when they're not busy. You won't be as close to them as you were, but now you have the chance to branch out and meet people you wouldn't have before. This school has so many amazing possibilities to explore, and now you have the time to find the perfect ones for you.
Don't worry and keep raging,
Edgar
Dear Edgar,
I think my roommate has a drinking problem. Last year she went to the hospital once for alcohol poisoning in the fall, and in the spring she passed out while vomiting from drinking too much. After the second incident she resolved to stop drinking but later decided this was not a feasible goal in the long term. This semester she is back to the same behavior. I'm worried for her safety, but I'm also tired of her never learning her lesson. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Worried and Annoyed Housemate
Dear Worried and Annoyed Housemate,
Roommate issues can be really tough. Not all of us can confront, address and resolve conflicts with our roommates in about five minutes and then hug it out on stage in the same way the actors in "Grounds for Discussion" did. But the most important thing to remember is that you don't have to deal with this situation on your own. Your RA, an older student, or even one of your friends in the dorm can all be sources of help and advice. The Gordie Center is also a great resource for alcohol- and drug-related problems. The center's services include a free anonymous crisis help line, counseling and psychological services and a team of peer educators. You don't, and shouldn't, have to figure out how to deal with this problem alone; there is a whole community here on Grounds to support you.
Best,
Edgar
Dear Edgar,
I've been hooking up with this guy on and off for a couple months now, and I really like him. He's come to some date functions with me, and we've hung out and watched movies a few times, but he still hasn't asked me out on a real date. I know I don't want things to get serious too quickly, but at the same time, I don't want to hang around if we are only ever going to be hook-up buddies. Help!
Sincerely,
More than just a booty call
Dear More than just a booty call,
Relationships can be really complicated, and sometimes we all just want our lives to end up as perfectly as the movie adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks book where Ryan Gosling dramatically professes his love to you in the pouring rain. Unfortunately, relationships aren't that simple. Boys can be a bit oblivious at times, and he might not even know you are looking for something more meaningful. You'll never know if you don't ask. And if it turns out that all he wants to do is hook up then he might not be the one for you after all. If you really like him, then it will be worth it to take the risk and talk to him about your relationship. After all, he might be feeling the exact same way you are. If he isn't, then it's better to know now instead of just waiting for a change in your relationship, which was never going to happen. Communication is the first step to building a strong, happy relationship.
Good luck,
Edgar
Tell Edgar your problems at\ngetadvice@cavalierdaily.com.
Disclaimer: Edgar is not a medical professional nor a psychiatrist. Edgar listens to your problems and offers what he hopes are constructive comments. By taking his advice, however, you accept full responsibility for your own actions.
Read More
Fourth-year Bodo’s orders — creative or catastrophic?
By Lizzy Goldstein | 17 hours agoWhile this selection of bagels had winners and losers, it is safe to say that the Class of 2024 has taken full advantage of the Bodo’s menu over the years.
The naked party uncovered
By Mia Tan | YesterdayThe naked party, founded by fourth-year Architecture student Wells Woolcott, is the first of its kind at the University in recent memory.
A second chance to dress for graduation
By Julianne Saunders | 2 days agoI have learned to see my college graduation not as a way to make up for the past but as an event worth celebrating on its own.
