Sometimes I feel creepy scanning the sea of laptop screens in front of me during lectures. Is it weird to watch a girl browse Banana Republic’s casual dresses for 30 minutes? I don’t know. Part of me thinks it’s an invasion of privacy and another part of me doesn’t care at all. The last part of me hopes she spends a little time looking at Nordstrom’s catalogue for a wider selection. In any case, she is sitting in front of sixty people and she should know she has a captive audience. What else are we supposed to look at?
If I’m starting to zone out in a big economics lecture, I have three options: I can strain my eyes to see an antiquated faculty member write something about “value” on the board, scroll through Facebook or watch the guy in front of me scroll through Facebook. You may wonder why I don’t just pay attention to the lecture. That’s a fair point, but you’re a nerd. You may also wonder why I would look at someone else’s Facebook feed instead of my own. I don’t have a good response to that. Maybe the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe I’m sick of my aunt posting pictures of her new boat.
This is my point: we all look at each other’s laptop screens in lectures. Did you think nobody could see you taking Buzzfeed quizzes in astronomy? We all know which “Friends” character matches your zodiac sign. But it’s fine. We’re cool with it and we thank you for wasting your tuition in a fun, entertaining way. We’re all just trying to get through the next 50 minutes without falling asleep. So don’t freak out if you look over your shoulder and I’m watching you draft an email to your Politics TA, okay? Chill out. Embrace the communal nature of your classroom activities. Maybe I’ll let you know if you spelled “Czechoslovakia” wrong and we can laugh about it. And maybe you shouldn’t research personal medical questions in such a public arena. Or do, whatever! Just know that I am watching. Your ingrown hair is 100 percent more interesting to me than whatever the old guy up front is talking about.
If you’re feeling really ambitious, use your laptop to impress the people sitting behind you. Fill out a prestigious online internship application. Browse the international section of Le Monde and pretend to read about Egypt in French. Look at pictures of dogs. Use virtual gardening software to design your own vegetable garden. My dream date is someone doing all of these things in four different, equally important tabs.
One day I will meet the love of my life in a boring lecture. I’ll lean over and say, “Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you’re planning on growing carrots and celery right next to each other. I would suggest moving the carrots closer to beans or squash for a more compatible root combination.” Sure, it might be a little creepy, but I’m not about to let somebody ruin a vegetable garden because of a pointless rule in lecture etiquette.
Nancy-Wren Bradshaw is a Humor writer.
Read More
What I will miss most about U.Va.
By Kate McCarthy | 12 hours agoAh, college, the best four years of your life. As I approach my final days on Grounds, I find myself reflecting on all the memories that I have made here.
The Most Famous People From U.Va.
By Kate McCarthy | April 29, 2024By learning their stories of success, we younglings can feel inspired to reach toward great heights.
U.Va. Spirit Week 2024 dates announced
By Camila Cohen Suárez | April 25, 2024Student Affairs’ memo reads that “U.Va. Spirit Week will allow students to reflect on their role within the University system."
