The other day, as I sat mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I came across an ad that caught my attention immediately: “CLICK HERE to view ALL Ashley Madison users in Northern Virginia!”
I had read about the covert extramarital dating service and its now-infamous security breach by the hacker group Anonymous only a few days earlier. After hearing horror stories of friends catching a parent on OKCupid or eHarmony, something inside me itched to triple-check that my parents’ healthy marriage wasn’t a just facade. I clicked the link and started scrolling through the thousands of stolen names, home addresses and email addresses of users in my region.
With a deep sigh of relief, I passed both my mother and father’s sections of the alphabetized list without seeing their names. I pressed “Control-F” and searched them to be positive. Yet even after proving their innocence, I couldn’t stop scrolling and reading. Many of the street names were familiar, and all too soon, some of the users’ names were as well.
After discovering two classmates’ parents on the list, I panicked and texted a friend, explaining the situation. She responded with a single unequivocal statement, “Don’t read it. It’s not worth it.”
It took about a second for the shame to hit, then the hypocrisy. It was only a few months after I had silently raged against the American public for their grotesque obsession with leaked celebrity nudes and “sexts.” Yet, there I was, mindlessly consuming the digital evidence of what was meant to be a private — if morally dubious — act.
I, who so vehemently defended the celebrity victims’ right to privacy and advocated for people to respect them by refusing to view the content, had somehow decided this time was different. These people didn’t need protection. I had subconsciously passed the judgment that these users didn’t deserve enough respect for me to show restraint.
With the advent of newer technology, the rise of more advanced hackers and the changing usage of social media, the Ashley Madison scandal is neither the first nor will it be the last security breach resulting in a massive invasion of privacy and potentially life-altering consequences. But while we cannot control the way some people choose to use technology and social media or the way others intrude upon these acts, we can control the way we respond.
After the Ashley Madison outbreak and the shame I felt scrolling through the names, some of which were familiar, I realized we do not need to feed our seemingly insatiable appetite for the intimate details of others’ lives. In addition, we have the power to realign our values in a way that respects the privacy of others — regardless of whether or not we agree with their behavior. While people will continue to use technology and social media for their own purposes, and we may not agree with them, nobody deserves to have his or her private life turn into somebody else’s short-term entertainment.
Sofia’s column runs biweekly Friday. She can be reached at s.mckewenmoreno@cavalierdaily.com.
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