We here at MTV are stoked to be bringing you the 31st season of “Real World” this fall! We’ve perfected the model of reality television critics have called a 21st century Lord of the Flies and we’re pumped to be able to bring it back for another season, this time in VEGAS BABY (you know, from the movie “Swingers” which, along with every other Vince Vaughn movie, is the only other thing we still show on MTV)! Anyway, we’ve realized that after 30 seasons of the exact same thing, some people might be bored with what we have to offer. So, we’ve decided to let you in on the fun!
Now you, the viewers, can decide the last members for this season’s cast, and with your help, it’ll be insane in the membrane (you know, like Cypress Hill, the rap group? We stopped learning about pop culture in the early nineties)! Anyway, we’ve provided you with some of our prospective contestants’ bios, and you’ll get to decide who gets on the show based solely on that information. We’ve assured our producers that this plan is foolproof, because it is! Nothing can go wrong! It’s in your hands now!
Anthony Santamonica, Queens, NY
Okay, so don’t freak out, but one time I met Luis Guzmán outside of a Costco. Now you’re probably thinking, “Anthony, why would you start your Real World bio with the most interesting thing about you?” Well, what I would say to that is shut up, that’s not even the most interesting thing about me. For real, that might be the least interesting thing about me — no kidding, I’m serious. You see, it’s hard not to brag when your life is as awesome as mine. And yes, that is (almost) a direct quote from Vincent Chase on "Entourage." That show rules. Turtle! That’s just some classic Entourage humor right there. Anyway, if I was on the show everyone would get to see my sick Infiniti G35 (it used to be my dad’s but it’s mine now) and I’d totally show everyone how to wear a thick plastic watch with a linen shirt ( I can actually pull that off like, really well). Anyway, I just got a business degree from Nassau Community College and I’m ready to stake my claim in this world. As my best friend Vinny Chase would say, “Dream large. Live larger.”
Like from "Entourage."
Tommy Rappaport, Westlake Village, CA
HI! I’m Tommy Rappaport, and I’m 24 years old. Some people call me waifish, but I like to think of myself more as spunky! By day, I’m just the head stock boy at the Westlake Village Target, but by night (and some early evenings) I am the founder and captain of the semi-professional cheerleading squad the Conejo Valley Bunnies! We’re pretty new, so right now it’s just me doing gymnastics in a rented out lot next to a dog park, but the dogs seem interested! Now you may be wondering, “Hey Tommy, how’d ya decide to become a semi-professional cheerleader?” Well, it’s really quite simple. After I (accidentally) crashed a snowmobile into my family’s minivan, killing everyone inside and rendering myself an orphan while also sending myself to the hospital for many weeks to treat both my physical and psychological injuries, I happened to catch a “Bring it On” marathon on television, and thought that cheerleading would be the best way to mask my anguish to the general public! So if I get on the show, expect me to cling to every interpersonal relationship I make, and maybe bust out a couple cheers along the way!
Sandra Knudson, Minneapolis, MN
I’m just gonna come out and say it — I’m a slut for Bob Ross. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Those dulcet tones, that smile, oh, and those hands. Those magnificent hands, that with a single flick form mountains, streams, bushes. Oh, the man knows his way around his own hands. And he is the epitome of commitment. I mean, he did 403 episodes of “The Joy of Painting.” Thirty-one seasons. That’s commitment if I’ve ever seen it. Especially since there’s only so much landscape one man can paint. But he soldiered on, spicing things up with the occasional rabbit. Or was it a weird grey blob? Only Bob really knew. And you just know he’s hiding a similar afro in those pleated slacks. And yes, I know he’s dead. That does not mean I can’t love him from here to eternity and just think about the things I’d do to him if he were still here. Basically, if I were on “Real World,” I would just try to parlay this gig into my own public access show where people would watch me watch tapes of Bob Ross while I comment over his commentary. It would be hot, raw and educational. So put me on “Real World” or just give me my show now.
Vote for your favorite by going to our website at www.geocities.realworld.biz/vegasbabyyy and enter for a chance to be an executive at MTV!
Patrick Thedinga is a Humor writer.
Read More
What I will miss most about U.Va.
By Kate McCarthy | 2 days agoAh, college, the best four years of your life. As I approach my final days on Grounds, I find myself reflecting on all the memories that I have made here.
The Most Famous People From U.Va.
By Kate McCarthy | April 29, 2024By learning their stories of success, we younglings can feel inspired to reach toward great heights.
U.Va. Spirit Week 2024 dates announced
By Camila Cohen Suárez | April 25, 2024Student Affairs’ memo reads that “U.Va. Spirit Week will allow students to reflect on their role within the University system."
