I’m awkward. So, when I approached Madison in the Newcomb dining hall, I was horribly awkward.
“Hi, can I sit with you?” I asked. To my surprise she pushed out the chair in front of her and waved me to sit while chewing her food.
To give you some context on our encounter, I had never met Madison before that conversation. I walked up and down the Newcomb dining hall, looking for a stranger I could talk to. I needed to find someone who was alone, so I wouldn’t be barging in on a conversation. There were some lonely people with headphones in, typing away at their laptops, but I didn’t want to distract them from their work. One guy was finishing up his last plate, so I decided against approaching him if I would only be able to talk to him for a split second. I decided Madison was the perfect victim for my horrible social experiment.
I came up with the idea to talk to strangers two months ago, when I had an eye-opening experience at the Newcomb dining hall that changed my view. In short, I made small talk with two random students in line for pierogis, and one of them turned out to be an Olympic swimmer. This experience helped me realize that there are so many cool and interesting people we wouldn’t be able to meet without making the effort to talk to them and learn from them.
But going further than just small talk is pretty difficult. When was the last time you ever went up to a stranger and just started talking to them? It’s not as easy as it may have been in first semester of first year during the “honeymoon” phase when everyone was trying to get to know each other.
I decided I wanted to challenge myself — as cheesy as it sounds — to step out of my comfort zone in order to befriend people I might otherwise never cross paths with, and that’s why and how I ended up in a friendly discussion with Madison at Newcomb.
You would think a first-year, Asian guy wouldn’t have much to talk about with a second-year, black girl, but we hit it off. Although the beginning of our conversation was filled with formalities, we quickly dove in and explored a variety of topics.
I learned about the different black fraternities and sororities on grounds and their relationships with one another. I also learned about the divide between the Charlottesville townspeople and the black community at U.Va. I discovered similar problems such as internal divisions in the black community like there are in the Asian community. After discussing racial matters for a while, I could tell she was not only passionate, but also strong in her black identity. Throughout our conversation, I began to question my own identity, because I didn’t seem to feel a strong sense of belonging to one community as she did here at U.Va.
Time flew by, and we both loved talking about our different experiences being minorities at U.Va. so much we didn’t notice that almost an hour and a half had gone by. We said our good-byes and promised each other to say hi when we see each other outside of Newcomb.
There are still so many other students at the University whom I want to get to know. From my recent experience at Newcomb, I learned a lot not only about Madison and the black community at this University, but also my own identity and how I behave with strangers. We shouldn’t be afraid to “lean into discomfort,” as a few of my friends say, because that’s how I met Madison, and I’m so glad I did.
It all starts with a simple and sometimes awkward introduction in order to spark a flash friendship and an eye-opening conversation.
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