A few years ago, I went on National Outdoor Leadership School trip with a couple friends. We had been hiking the Cascades of Washington for almost two weeks when our trip leaders split us into group expedition parties. Leaving them behind, we hit the trail and guided ourselves through the multi-colored foliage and rock before finding a suitable spot to pitch tents. We set up camp, but I soon sought the sunlight beyond the trees, and having time in the day to spare, I searched for a secluded place. A small clearing, a miniature valley behind a ridge, opened upon my path a few hundred feet from the campsite. I strolled in, sat among the rocks and melted away into my surroundings.
As the sun warmed my skin, I was transfixed by the tranquility of the area. What am I doing? Nothing. I was simply a man existing among a landscape equally as alive. Back at camp others were existing in separate lives, each with a purpose equally as important as my own. When I am alone and away from the business of the world, my scope widens. I can see myself at various points along my journeys and I ponder my own reasons for how I arrived. There are reasons for what I am doing and how I am feeling.
Returning to Grounds after spring break reminds us that life can be demanding. While fulfilling the necessities of life and working hard can bring peace and order, peace itself should also be prioritized. We often perpetuate and feed into the cycle of our own struggles. The responsibilities of school and work, outside commitments, health issues and personal matters often overwhelm us, but they should not overtake us. We have time for everything — there is time to think.
I am allowed to make changes. It’s important to check in with yourself regularly and understand what is going on internally. Without introspection, thoughts and emotions get overlooked. When I am able to gain new perspective on my own life, the rest of the world becomes more clear, and I am able to see understand other people and their motivations.
After I returned to camp, my friend wondered what had engrossed me so, and I brought him to my newfound sanctuary. We sat together, sharing in our meditation. There was no contest of ideas, and any thoughts or worries about society were far away.
I found my solitude in a forest, and I find it in many other places as well. With silence, I hide nothing, and therefore nothing is hidden from me. Life’s complications are stripped away to concrete existence. The intricacies and the abstractions of the outside world are left for me to decipher. I have come to accept that I can’t understand some things. I don’t mind not knowing, and in some ways I’m comforted by it. The point isn’t in knowing everything; it is simply the peace from knowing better who I am. When I have a more defined picture of myself, every day is easier.
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