Nearing finals week last spring, I was chugging three to four cups of coffee every few hours to function each day and staying awake until the birds began to chirp as I walked from Clemons to my dorm. It was a stressful few weeks — as most people know — and my caffeine addiction was at an all-time high. Up until then, I avoided coffee like the first-year plague. But as I slowly deteriorated into a zombie, I turned to the most common curative to sleep deprivation in college — coffee.
In the beginning, I had an inner dilemma as to whether I should start drinking coffee for a variety of reasons. First, I despise the bitter taste. During my childhood, I would take an experimental sip of my mom’s coffee as a test to see if I finally liked the taste, if I had finally reached adulthood. When I came to college, I thought I would enjoy coffee, but I am still deterred by the taste, meaning I’m not an adult yet.
Second, I hate that I can’t fall asleep until 2 a.m. no matter how heavy my eyelids are or how physically exhausted I am. Some of my friends actually say the opposite and argue coffee helps them sleep at night, but I’ve personally felt caffeine’s effects hours into the night. Even with these reasons, I inevitably did choose to consume coffee in order to sustain my horrible sleeping habits and studying skills during the end of my first year.
Over the summer, I weaned myself off of coffee by choosing different options. Hot chocolate and hot tea were two alternatives I used as placebos to help me trick myself into thinking these hot drinks had caffeine. I also started trying different flavors and varying ratios of ingredients in order to make my ideal-tasting coffee and weaken its effects. As a result, I’m more open to drinking coffee. My favorite way to make coffee is using the French Vanilla blend from Newcomb and adding honey, sugar, cream and, lastly, a good portion of chocolate milk.
This semester, I have picked up my coffee habit again, and I don’t necessarily think of coffee as a horrible drink anymore. However, I’ve noticed an unhealthy culture in which the number of cups of coffee and hours of sleep someone has had is used as a way to compare and incite competition among people’s struggles. This heavily pervasive idea is why more and more people feel the need to consume caffeine and sleep less in order to feel some sense of achievement, respect and equal footing with their friends.
I sometimes get caught up in wanting to explain to friends how much more exhausted I am based on the quantity of tall mochas I had or the hours of sleep or lack thereof I received during the week. People should see coffee as just a drink and sleep as a gift, and I always try to tell myself that when I’m exhausted.
Coffee has been both a blessing and a curse in some weird way, but I have found a new sense of appreciation for it, especially as my 8 a.m. classes are taking a toll on me. I drink coffee on occasions and in moderation now, but I always try to keep in mind the coffee is for myself and not to impress anyone.
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