The angry old people in the comment sections of Cavalier Daily articles have a point

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Humor columnist Alisha Kohli gives her take on Cavalier Daily Facebook commenters.

Emma Klein | Cavalier Daily

It’s no secret that the comments on the Cavalier Daily’s Facebook posts of newly-published articles can sometimes look like digital warfare between irritable middle-aged keyboard warriors and, well, literally nobody else. The bloodiest of battles always take place under opinion pieces, as it is here that University alumni from decades past feel the need to reprimand current students for daring to express their viewpoints (sharing an OPINION in the OPINION section?! blasphemous) while simultaneously screaming their own outdated beliefs into the cyber void. 

One of the main articles that has come under fire is an opinion piece claiming that U.Va. is too elitist. When I first came across it on Facebook, I clicked on the comment section and cries of “stop playing the victim” and “just go somewhere else” overwhelmed my screen. Initially, I thought they were kind of harsh, but after reading the article, I changed my mind. The author brings up some very valid points regarding University students’ lack of accountability and the need for more community engagement, however I think that we should ignore all of that because she was being too ~negative~ towards U.Va. which riled up some old geezers who probably sing the Good Old Song in the shower every morning and spoon a life-size inflatable Cav Man figurine in bed every night.

After sifting through comment after comment, I quickly realized that these alumni felt that the author was not grateful for her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to attend the greatest university in the world — an opportunity in which God himself most definitely descended from heaven in order to graciously bestow upon her. I 100 percent agree, as I feel that my fellow students either need to recognize their awesome privilege of attending the University or get out. In fact, if you go here and you don’t routinely scale the side of the Thomas Jefferson statue in front of the Rotunda and French kiss its cold, metallic lips as a grand act of love towards our flawless founder, you should honestly just transfer.

We also cannot forget the hot takes that these elderly Facebook fiends have on the topic of racism at the University. There have been multiple articles this semester that have implored the University community to recognize and take action against the racist culture that this school continues to breed. These articles are well-researched and compelling, and though they were written by current students who are witnessing the effects of the University’s problematic environment in real-time, I’m much more interested in reading what U.Va. alums who graduated during the height of bell-bottoms have to say about our school’s current state regarding race relations.

Most of these Baby Boomers’ comments are peppered with the usual “PC generation” and “SJW” followed by seven angry face emojis, as well as the occasional “socialist!!!!” (I don’t get that one, either). These exclamations are typically supplemented with top-tier Fox News inspired commentary about how blackface isn’t THAT bad if it was done, like, a really, really long time ago and that Confederate statues are NOT racist and shouldn’t be taken down since they serve as reminders of the lessons taught to us by our country’s painful history. This is because apparently it takes seeing stone effigies of anti-abolitionist generals every day for us to remember the complex notion that Slavery Is Bad™.

Though most of my fellow students may disagree with a lot of the online comments written by those who just recently learned how to use a computer, I for one think that there is some validity in what they’re saying. We Millennials have gotten too critical and have started jumping to outrageous and uninformed conclusions which we need to be called out for by the people who interpreted the phrase “Happy Holidays” to mean “F—k you and your birthday, Jesus”. The mere thought of 19-year-olds having the audacity to express our opinions is ridiculous. Instead, we should forget all of the critical thinking skills we have learned throughout college, bottle up our concerns, let our frustrations with society build up, and then unleash our 30 years worth of anger on unsuspecting college kids through whatever social media equivalent the year 2049 has to offer. At least this way we won’t seem so bitter and easily agitated!

Alisha Kohli is a Humor Columnist for The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at humor@cavalierdaily.com.

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