Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.
Last Friday night, biology department professor Dr. Percivle “Perve” Eguy took his fledgling anatomy lab, ARSE 8008, on a field trip to the lawn. Carrying binoculars, notepads and high voltage flashlights, the students surprised well-meaning streakers. Although streakers were used to exposing the beauty of creation — their bodies — to any unsuspecting Security Ambassadors walking through the Lawn, they were shocked to see a more academic presence.
A lab created for the fall 2025 semester, Dr. Eguy says the inaugural class aims to take a more hands-on approach to grasping anatomy than the biology department had used in years past.
“I truly am of the belief that, until you see the human form at peak performance from the perfect mix of alcohol and athleticism, you cannot hope to comprehend the intricacies of what you’re being asked to study,” Dr. Eguy said.
Some of Eguy’s colleagues expressed pedagogical concern about the methodology’s effectiveness in teaching concepts, though none refuted the practice’s clear benefits.
“While I can appreciate Dr. Eguy’s efforts to engage his students, I see no reason to depart from time honored tradition,” Moses “Moe” Lester, a fellow at the University’s chapter of the Charlottesville Unclothed Monthly Society said.
A respected professor of higher level BOOB courses within the Cognitive Science Department, Lester believes teachers should remain committed to practice-based methodologies such as observing streakers.
As higher-education institutions across the country grapple with political pressure and restricted financial resources from the Trump administration, many anatomists in the scientific community worry about the impact this could have on the educational methodology for anatomy professors everywhere.
“At this institution, we have had the luxury of having streakers right on our own Lawn, but
federal funding for streaking infrastructure has been being pulled left and right. One recent study predicts that the number of streakers may drop as low as 1.3 streakers per week nationwide.” Lester added.
Following this, Lester refused to answer any more questions, saying he had to leave to make it to his nude modeling gig. There are no nude modeling classes on Grounds.
Some students, however, appreciate the breath of fresh air the field trip provides. Nathaniel Bahdee, second-year in the College of Arts and Sciences, shared how it has revitalized his love of the field and his old hobby of photography.
“I haven’t bought this many polaroids in years.”
Eliza McTowel, a third-year in the College, took a different stance as one of the few female students enrolled in the lab.
“At first I thought the opportunity to see anatomy in the real world would be a totally unique experience. After my first lab, I think maybe we should all see a little less of each other,” McTowel said.
Regardless of scientific opinion, the lab will continue to run through this semester in its trial period, and one can only assume the streakers will continue to run too.
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