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In the spring of 1979, a young Italian antiquities dealer opened the trunk of his sedan to reveal two pristine marble sculptures -- smiling faces, supposedly those of the ancient goddesses, Demeter and Persephone. Giuseppe Mascara, a former tomb raider and purveyor of misplaced antiquities, stared at the acroliths for a while, letting his eyes brush over the exquisitely etched surface, imagining the craftsmanship that produced such simple beauty almost 2,500 years ago. As Mascara told prosecutors years later, the price was more than he could afford.
Besides McDonalds, there are more gyms than any other building in the world. This is because old people are always building gyms so as to have quiet and accepting places in which they can walk around naked. In fact, when men reach an old age, like 50, and their children no longer wish to take care of them, many are put in YMCAs to live peacefully before they pass on to the magic locker room in the sky.
I casually walk into Student Health and approach the receptionist.
Managing only 110 total yards on the day, Virginia fell to Wyoming 23-3 in its season opener.
This semester marks an important period of progress for the Honor Committee, which stumbled somewhat last semester amidst low reporting rates, attacks from secret societies and no pending trials. Having already concluded one trial so far this semester and with several investigations still pending, the Committee appears to have recovered from its period of atrophy and resumed its duties. New plans to expand outreach to update its infrastructure and repair weaknesses in its existing outreach programs promise to occupy the Committee's time this semester with substantive improvements that will serve the student body.
MOST READERS probably remember the hit '90s television show, "The Wonder Years." And most readers probably also remember the dream girl next door from the show, Winnie Cooper. Well, Winnie (known as Danica McKellar in real life) wants to be remembered for more than just her middle school years on a TV show. It may be surprising to discover that the actress has recently published a math textbook for girls entitled "Math Doesn't Suck." It turns out that McKellar is more than just an endearing actress but a mathematician as well -- one who is currently the only television actress in America to have coauthored a groundbreaking mathematical physics theorem.
THE LATEST sex scandal to rock Washington involves Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, who was accused of lewd conduct towards an undercover police officer in a men's bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. This comes on the heel of another scandal just a few months ago involving Sen. David Vitter, R-La., and his alleged use of an alleged prostitution service.
IT HAPPENS after spending an entire academic year on Grounds, traveling entirely by foot and by bus. Students from New York City or the D.C. area will return to a public transportation system that is extensive and easy to use, but the rest of us will get home to inevitably ask ourselves, "How am I supposed to get around now?" Driving is the first solution, but driving presents drawbacks like heavy traffic, finding a place to park, and the issue of always having the car nearby. The best solution lies in extensive mass transit -- a solution most of America ignores.
As Student Council reimagines itself as the central hub for student organizations, it should pay close attention to its comparative advantage. Instead of trying to address every problem and debate every resolution, Council should focus on what it does well -- facilitating interaction between students and organizations.
Shiny though they may be, the LCD screens ornamenting Newcomb Hall do very little to improve the lives of students. They barely serve anyone at all, except perhaps the bored student who stops awkwardly in front of the stairs to watch CNN on mute.
People used to drop the old line "I want to be like Mike!" from Michael Jordan's Gatorade commercials when they talked about Michael Vick. Who wouldn't want to be like Michael Vick the athlete: a speedy, strong-armed quarterback making millions of dollars in salary and endorsements?
In a summer saturated with comedies, each movie has promised to blow away the competition with its unique humor; however, between lame romantic comedies a la License to Wed, politically incorrect crude humor in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and the upcoming Balls of Fury, this season's laugh-out-loud comedies have not been up to par. Enter Superbad and suddenly, there seems to be a purpose to summer cinema again.
First-year students typically come in with all sorts of crazy questions and concerns and diseases. And while I may not be a doctor, I've been here long enough that I can answer queries from entering Wahoos. Of course, I choose to do so in writing rather than face-to-face because of how disease-ridden these kids are. So here are my answers to a collection of frequently asked questions that I've overheard while wandering through first-year dorms with my trusty surgical mask on.
Air travel has revolutionized the world as we know it. It has connected far-flung regions of the globe and made crossing vast distances a much quicker process. Few things are as exciting for a child as his or her first airplane flight; the whole experience is strange and brand new. Unfortunately, for many, air travel is a lot like shaving: The first time makes you feel all grown up, but every time after that it's just a messy hassle and you get scraped a lot. I did a fair bit of flying this summer while studying abroad and I compiled some grievances.
While the University embarks on a relentless fundraising campaign to anchor itself solidly among the nation's elite academic institutions, it has paid too little attention to improving the educational experience of undergraduates. Statistics that matter to students, such as class size, faculty availability and student-to-faculty ratios continue to lag behind other top-ranked universities. Improving these would help the University ascend U.S. News and World Report's annual rankings -- arguably the most respected comparison of national universities. More importantly, it would dramatically improve the quality of a University education.