What if I had just gotten dumped and was trying to get over my ex by listening to an empowering break-up playlist, only to be accosted by the selfie of him and I that I just had deleted from my Facebook?
I don’t smile with my tongue anymore. I threw away my Burt’s Bee medicated lip balm. My lips are so chapped.
With a wave of students thrown into disarray and confusion from these findings, teachers, doctors and educational experts are working to offer alternative locations for studying.
Faced with the threat of unemployment, I developed a plan.
A young boy watched as the last crop withered in his hands. “How did this happen?” he asked. “How did nobody notice this coming?”
I don’t think it’s possible for us to expect less of our school. This is a “u up?” text message at 3:00 am. This is the bare minimum.
Below is a retelling of actual events within the private residence of The White House at 6:15 a.m.
His tiny sleeves tore from the force within: the force of the toddlers’ rippling muscles, the bodybuilder of a baby they created.
I would say sorry, but I’m sure you understand. It’s finals.
Okay, it’s been a few weeks. We can talk about it now, right? We’ve taken time to mourn, and now we all walk into the nearest bookstore and pick up our copies of, “So, Your Next President Is A Total Bigot.” In your post-election turmoil, you might be wondering: What do we do now?
We need to stop jinxing the Mona Lisa
All of the loud, elephantine, seemingly endless Trump supporters, I need you to shut up
It’s stupidly easy to influence kids.
I will admit it is easy to put a vampire costume together. All I needed was a slinky black dress, a cape and fake teeth.
Quit being racist. Seriously. Stop it. Freaking cut it out.
There’s so much exciting new Drake out there right now. Go forth and enjoy all of it.
My fellow Americans, the time is nearly upon us. Every four years, our nation comes together to elect our next president.
Dear Board of Visitors, How have you been? Good! How’s the wife? Good! How’s the coal plant?
One of the most surprising discoveries of this election is that we as a country are far more polarized than we ever cared to admit.
We recently learned a lot of scary stuff about Donald Trump. As a writer, that sentence has grown comfortable and familiar, like a nice sweater you can cozy up in.
