It really isn't so bad that the latest headlines involve fibbing politicians, sly mistresses, and the sordid details about their affairs. After all, the media always makes sure college students are mentioned in these stories.
We, as college interns, relish this undeserved extra attention we've been getting. We don't mind being identified as shameless, underhanded, and sleazy federal underlings in front of the American public. Just like every politician doesn't mind being called a compulsive liar in front of his constituents.
As government interns working in Washington, D.C., Monica Lewinsky and Chandra Levy couldn't have been better poster children to represent the thousands of interns who descend annually on the District to work in the public sector.
The two young women came from privileged families, graduated from respected universities and had high hopes to work as venerable civil servants within the government.
Never mind that they both suddenly got starry-eyed and found themselves doing unmentionably naughty things with men twice their age. Or that these women have made blue dresses and cigars such notorious objects that they can no longer be mentioned in front of young children.
Their superiors spoke highly of them. One congressman called the 24-year-old Levy a "very good friend" and another highly placed politician wielded his power to find Lewinsky a position in New York. The interns repeatedly were showered with gifts such as Godiva chocolates, airplane tickets, and Walt Whitman poetry books. Obviously, this was some indication that they were being rewarded for their exceptional performance as civil servants in the District.
It's a great leap forward for interns everywhere. Before Lewinsky and Levy, no one could ever associate the occupation with a famous name. Now that we can, every one of us can puff out our chests and proudly utter the name "Lewinsky" in the same breath as our own.
Before such stirring events, we were merely peasants on the federal government's totem pole. Now, we have become celebrities in our own right. We have representatives speaking for us in the headlines of the papers. And although we will continue to be paid the lowest wages possible and receive little recognition for our accomplishments, we will for once garner the attention of all our elders.
What with such well-known names backing us, this makes it entirely possible for interns to finally bring about reform for students nationwide.
People will begin to notice us, paying extra attention if we start talking about older boyfriends or secret lovers. They will take interest in our personal lives, and lightly joke that we would compromise our reputations to spend a night with a politician. Yes, as if any of us would ever get that chance.
And the next thing you know, we might be asked to submit to polygraph tests and background checks just to make sure that hormonally-charged minions like us won't wreak havoc within the federal government, or that our attractive and youthful personalities won't cause the downfall of yet another lonely politician. To think that our superiors actually believe we have that kind of power is astounding.
Perhaps our co-workers will start keeping closer tabs on us too, and make sure we don't accidentally stumble into a politician's office and close the door.
All these precautions - if they were to be enforced - would be thanks to the national media and the insatiable appetite of the public. As if we weren't shamed enough, cameras, reporters, and radio personalities also have to meddle in our affairs and drive the stake further.
No stone was left unturned when it came to revealing the personal lives of our fellow interns. The reporters really didn't have to delve into such exquisite and dirty detail, but it seems they couldn't help expose every distasteful conversation, each secret rendezvous and every sexual encounter.
Nowadays, you can't walk down a street in the District without hearing mention of the latest juicy gossip about Levy's short-lived Congressional romance. Did we forget that dogs are still sniffing parks for traces of her missing body?
Maybe in the future, it would be a good idea to volunteer interns to willingly divulge his personal goings-on so that the American public's ravenous craving for sleazy stories will be satisfied each year.
Fortunately for us, we won't be subject to such scrutiny forever. After four years, we will move on, find ourselves permanent jobs and make a name for ourselves without hanging on the coattails of names like Lewinsky and Levy. But hopefully, as the intern classes of 2000 and 2001, we have left a lasting legacy that future interns will never forget.
(Juliana Chan is a Cavalier Daily columnist. She can be reached at jchan@cavalierdaily.com.)
Read More
IYER: Sports stadiums should sport more benefit to Virginia residents
By Arjun Iyer | YesterdayPast stadiums in other states show that Virginia has the potential to succeed at such a construction project, provided that proper measures are undertaken.
KURTZWEIL: True financial aid must be transparent
By Paul Kurtzweil | 5 days agoThe implications and revelations of the lawsuit should inspire greater transparency at the University in order to ensure that financial aid is properly and equitably distributed.
SULLIVAN: Ramp up physical accessibility on Grounds
By Scarlett Sullivan | April 27, 2024The University must take responsibility for the inaccessibility of Grounds and work to promote accessibility for all students despite misguided laws.
