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One final fender-bender before the crash course in bus routes begins

Take a good look at my picture as you read this column. Study it until you feel familiar with my features and think you would be able to recognize my smile.

This will be the face you see each morning and each afternoon, seated in the first few rows of a UTS bus. After getting in my third (yes, third) fender-bender the other day, I have decided that it would be safer for the entire University community and Charlottesville area if I hung up my car keys and finally learned the bus route. So, if you see me taking the Blue line from the Chapel or the trolley down to 14th Street, be sure to say hello.

By no means do I intend to make light of the situation: my driving experience has been costly and, at times, frightening. Though no one has ever been injured in any of my fender-benders, I have done some serious damage to several cars and one lonely tree on a ramp leading to Interstate 4 in my hometown. And, yes, our gas grill leans slightly to one side after I accidentally backed into it after a family barbecue.

It would seem as if a driver with a record such as mine would be irresponsible and flighty, or perhaps suffering from a severe case of road rage. It is fair to say that I am prone to none of the above. I just seem to have a black cloud hanging over my car every time I put the key in the ignition. At times, that black cloud even likes to rain, causing the roads to be slippery. Clearly, this puts all drivers in my path at an unfair disadvantage.

If you are looking to meet new people and possibly exchange phone numbers, I would recommend that you take a mission trip to South America or simply head to the Greenskeeper this weekend. I would not, however, recommend that you simply run into the back of someone else's vehicle and get to know them in the time it takes the friendly officer to write you a ticket for "following too closely."

I did not intend for this to be my strategy for making new acquaintances, but my car seems to enjoy "love tapping" its neighbor when we are coming to a stop at a traffic light. I would also caution you about perfecting this technique only on drivers who appear to be normal, honest citizens. It is not in your best interest to rear-end a 70-year-old schizophrenic who claims to be someone else each time you talk with him. Believe me, I've been there. To this day, I do not know the man's legal name.

Having been in the driver's seat for only four years now, I am already on car number two. It was a good-faith gesture from my parents when I decided I would like to bring a car up to Charlottesville from my home in Florida. Though I wanted to keep my old car, they insisted that I have a newer, safer car with a sufficient warranty still intact. At the time, I regarded their generosity as parental kindness and protection. After hanging up the phone today with my father (who did not sound the least bit surprised when I said, "Dad, we need to talk about my car..."), I realized they were not safeguarding me but, rather, the poor soul who happened to cross my path. In short, they wanted me in a car with breaks that worked. Had it been possible to purchase a car with outside airbags, I am fairly confident my dad would have bought it without even asking for a test drive.

Because an ounce of prevention is worth the proverbial pound of cure, it seems that UTS will be my best bet for transportation in the Charlottesville area. No doubt my insurance agent will breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I'll be safely onboard a vehicle that I am not driving. Perhaps more students will feel safe enough to jog past my driveway on 14th Street, and gas grills everywhere will stand up a little straighter.

Well, not all gas grills. My grill's poor posture is permanent, I'm afraid.

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