"Kangaroo Jack," starring Jerry O'Connell, falls under the unfortunate category of films that have absolutely no audience. The story line is too complex for kids to understand, and, at the same time, so ludicrous that parents would suffer unmercifully along with their children. Or, you could be me, a college student, who would rather sit through an 8 a.m. Friday class than have to see this movie again.
The film opens with Charlie (O'Connell) as a child. His mother becomes engaged to her new husband, Sal (Christopher Walken), and things start to turn sour from here on out. Walken's character is a major mob figure in town, and, for some reason, the mother is completely oblivious to his illegal behavior.
Young Charlie plays around on the beach, where he meets his life-long friend, Louis (Anthony Anderson). Charlie, who can't swim, starts to drown in the ocean, and Louis must save him. To this day, Louis never lets Charlie forget that he saved his life and that he owes him for everything.
Back to the present day, where Charlie works as a professional hairdresser in Brooklyn. Louis asks him to help deliver some televisions with him, which turn out to be stolen goods. A police chase ensues, forcing the two leads to escape about 10 police cars. Who knew it could be so easy?
Anyway, they arrive at the warehouse, which, to their surprise, actually is owned by Charlie's stepfather. The cops arrive again, and again, Charlie and Louis escape by jumping down a metal chute. Apparently cops in New York just aren't trained to pursue their suspects.
The police recover all the stolen merchandise that Sal had obtained over the years, but because of his loyalty to his wife, Sal sends his stepson and friend on a mission to Australia instead of killing them. They must deliver $50,000 worth of mob money to some guy named Mr. Smith.
The comedic duo arrives in the Outback, and right from the start, they run over a kangaroo. The pair thinks that this is somehow funny, and they decide to put Louis' jacket on the kangaroo for a picture. Of course, the animal comes back to life and escapes with the jacket. Charlie and Louis then realize that the kangaroo has possession of the $50,000, since Louis had placed the money in his jacket pocket.
The rest of the movie basically revolves around finding the kangaroo and the money. Apparently, there are only about 20 kangaroos in Australia, although it's pretty darn simple to find this one animal over and over again in the wilderness.
Eventually, the movie climaxes in a messy showdown where the New York mob, Mr. Smith and the comedic pair come face-to-face for the last time. Basically, the plot development gets tricky when the audience learns of the mobsters' true intentions. Which gets us back to one of the film's problems -- it will probably go over the heads of most of its younger viewers.
O'Connell -- whose career sadly peaked in "Scream 2" -- brings nothing exceptional to the movie, and he isn't even that funny. The only comical moments arise from his co-star, Anderson. It's too bad that the writer could not have developed their friendship any better. Throughout the movie, they offer stupid and clich
d retorts. At the end, however, they have what is supposed to be a heartfelt evaluation of their friendship. Frankly, it made me want to vomit.
On their quest to find the kangaroo, they meet Jessie (Estella Warren). Jessie's primary role in the movie is to be a beautiful love interest for Charlie. There is, though, only one scene of passion between the two of them, after which they never speak of their relationship again until the bitter end of the film. Their love is completely underdeveloped and extremely contrived.
When I reread what I've written, I start to think, "Maybe I'm being too hard in this review. It's supposed to be a kid's movie, and maybe my cynical attitude hinders my ability to enjoy this type of movie." But then I remember, "This is a terrible example to set for children in a PG-rated comedy."
Characters curse, drink excessively (one time to the point of passing out), and drive recklessly (once in a heated chase scene with the cops through New York, and another time in hitting and almost killing the kangaroo). There are fart jokes, mature comments, praises for being able to chug beers quickly, gunshots, attempted murders and a scene of definite PG-13 rated sexual innuendo.
If director David McNally was so hard pressed to include raunchier material, why didn't he just opt for a higher MPAA rating, like he did in his previous movie, the sultry and provocative "Coyote Ugly?" Instead, he exposes this movie to children of all ages and their parents.
Unfortunately, "Kangaroo Jack" was #1 at the box office this past weekend, meaning that many families were tricked into seeing a cuddly, talking and rapping kangaroo hop around. But instead, they were subjected to the theatrical wiles of a distasteful and utterly stupid "child-friendly" comedy.
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