WHEN SETTLING in to your new home at the University of Virginia, much of what surrounds you will likely be overwhelming. Very quickly, first-years get overrun with mailings and fliers inviting you to join this group or that, telling you what classes you should take, and all making it sound like your happiness for the next four years depends on the decisions you make in the first two weeks of school. Well, relax. Many of the decisions you make early on can be changed and very little is irreversible. However, there is one thing which can, in fact, be greatly helped or hurt your very first day at the University, that will affect your experience for the entire school year: your relationship with those you live with.
Even if you've chosen your own roommate, once you move into your dorm, you will be largely surrounded by hallmates or suitemates that were assigned to you at random. Good communication with your new friends is absolutely critical to having a good year. A good relationship with your suitemates or hallmates can keep your dorm a comfortable environment where you can get work done and solve many problems. This good relationship can also be very conducive to positive communication and a quick solution whenever an issue comes up within a suite or hall (whether it's regarding parties or study habits or anything of the sort). A bad relationship within a suite or hall, however, can create all sorts of problems ranging from an inability to study well to feelings of isolation and losing what will be your best opportunity to make new friends.
In order to assure a good relationship with your hallmates or suitemates, it is absolutely essential that you make an effort to meet these people and get to know them as quickly as possible. While your RA's icebreaker activities are certainly nice things to have, they will not do nearly enough to ensure that you get to know the people you're living with as well as you need to. This is an effort you must make on your own. You should be able to tell pretty quickly which ones share similar interests, and which ones seem like similar people. In a suite of 10 people or a hall of 40, you're absolutely certain to find at least some that you can get along with and rely on when you need someone to hang out with.
Early on my first year, we were lucky enough to have a hurricane hit the University and knock out power for a day. There is, afterall, nothing quite like a good power outage to get people acquainted. But, absent an act of God, there are still other very good ways to get to know your suitemates or hallmates. In your first two weeks, try to go to a few meals as a suite or a hall, and make sure you try to talk to different people each time. I would also recommend going as a suite or a hall at least once to Newcomb for one of their $3 movies.
Finally, if your efforts to open good communication channels with your suitemates or hallmates in the first two weeks don't succeed, or you find yourself too overwhelmed to make such an exerted effort, don't be discouraged. While it is very useful to get a good relationship with your suitemates or hallmates as quickly as possible, as long as you avoid getting off on the wrong foot, other opportunities to get a good relationship going will present themselves throughout the course of the semester. Just make sure you keep your eyes open so you're ready to jump on the opportunities when they come along.
Throughout your four years at the University, your first-year experience will be with you vividly the entire time you're here. There is very little that could be considered more critical to a positive first-year experience than having a good, positive relationship with your suitemates or hallmates. As long as you make a concerted effort to get to know the people you will be living with, a good relationship should be very feasible, and the odds are very good you will have an unforgettable year.
Sam Leven is a Cavalier Daily columnist. He can be reached at sleven@cavalierdaily.com.
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