It's almost time for finals, and the one thing on everyone's mind is test-taking. Everything we've been learning all semester will soon culminate into an examination of what we can put on paper when the books are closed and the timer is ticking away.
You see, tests are where the men are separated from the boys. Actually, maybe I'm thinking about chest hair in middle school. I'll try again. Tests are where the people who've studied and learned are separated from those who just simply haven't.
It feels great to come out at the top of the class on test day, but, all too often, students (including myself) fall into that latter category. This column is dedicated to those of you who've come up short. I feel your pain. In fact, I feel it so well that I can precisely categorize the different kinds of pain you might feel after a botched test. So, I present to you, in ascending order of disappointment and frustration, the "Eight Levels of Failing."
8: Overconfident underachievement -- Have you ever thought you had a test figured out? When study groups were forming, you stayed home and relaxed thinking you'd be OK. You instantly regretted your lackadaisical approach when you were handed the test the next day and didn't feel confident about any question you saw.
7: Unrealistic expectations -- Sometimes teachers just give tests that are way, way too hard. You might think you know a thing or two, but really the test might as well be in French (unless the test is for French class, in which case the test might as well be in Chinese). The bad news is you'll probably get a 36 percent. The good news is it should curve up to around a B-.
6: Grader incompetence -- There's nothing like dropping a grade letter or two because your graders didn't like the way you wrote your answer or happened to be in a stingy mood. Your peers who gave similar answers might have gotten more credit, but barring a rush of luck and generosity, you'll be stuck with a lower grade.
5: Sleep deprivation -- Most frequently seen when you're loaded with homework the night before a test. You lose your focus and train of thought repeatedly and never get going with any of the problems. Your score can drop significantly from what it should be thanks to working until the wee hours of the previous morning.
4: Should have invested in a watch -- Basically, this is what happens when you lose track of time and waste almost all of it before you get to the important questions. You wind up answering the most valuable problem on the test in a frenzy after your professor has called time, but before he gets mad at you for ignoring him.
3: Never even had a chance -- Sometimes, you're clueless in a class from the day you start learning the material to the day you are tested on it. No amount of studying, note-taking or focus helps you understand. Meanwhile, your friends all seem to understand just fine and leave you behind. In these situations, you're probably better off just studying for your other classes in hopes of salvaging your overall GPA.
2: Wrong material, wrong time -- Ultimately frustrating is the realization that what you spent hours studying is barely covered on the test, while topics you merely skimmed over play a huge role. For a test on chapters four through six, you might spend all night on chapters four and five, and only skim over chapter six the next morning. When you get the test, you see in horror that 90 percent of the test covers chapter six. You're barely any better off than you'd be if you hadn't studied at all.
1: The bomb -- The granddaddy of all tests gone bad, the bomb is what happens when you inexplicably screw up a test. You may have been an expert on the material the night before, and you may have been prepared, but once the test is in your hands, your brains turn to mashed potatoes. You choke on problems you should be able to do with ease and make mental mistakes at every opportunity. As soon as you turn in your test, you think of a dozen errors you've made and let that thought eat at you for the rest of the day.
Daniel's column runs bi-weekly on Wednesday. He can be reached at mcnally@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
At Emmy Squared, Detroit-style pizza is upstaged by star handhelds and sides
By Xander Tilock | YesterdayEmmy Squared is a Brooklyn-based restaurant that serves Detroit-style pizza and recently expanded into Charlottesville.
Sustainability in the lecture hall and beyond
By Ingrid Gay | 3 days agoStudents in all three of these programs stress that now, more than ever, it is important to be learning about our environment.
Top 10 pieces of advice from fourth-year students
By Sam Saks | 4 days agoThe following pieces of advice will help you achieve academic success and personal growth during the remainder of your college experience
