I want to audition for the drama department’s production of “Crazy for You,” but I’m nervous.
You wouldn’t expect to hear this from someone who attended a performing arts high school, one that lent me an experience very much like that of the hooligans in “Fame.” “Fame” circa 1980, that is, not the disgraceful new version that seems as though it was put into a blender with knock-off brand gummy bears and silver sequins.
My school was instrumental in shaping who I am today, as cliché as that may sound. I met my best friend there. I learned what it meant to act as a professional surrounded by pettiness. I adopted my somewhat lackluster partying lifestyle. Nobody smoke or drank in our musical theater department — such habits, we were convinced, would ruin our vocal chords, making us about as useful to a performance as Edith is to “Downton Abbey.”
But I’m nervous going forward. In musical theater, you’re expected to perfectly embody the ultimate “triple threat.” Directors want the girl with perfect pitch, 12 years of ballet experience and superior acting abilities. I have searched high and low for such beings — and I can safely say there are probably no more than a handful of such talents in the world. As skillful as many people are, there’s a natural tendency to lean toward one or two “threats,” leaving a third skill somewhat less refined.
I’m not a triple threat. I’m comfortable with my acting abilities — and my tap experience should lend itself well to “Crazy for You” auditions. But I’ve never been as comfortable with my singing. I’m pretty adept at faking my way through a tune, particularly since I embraced my typecast as the Judy Greer-esque best friend characters, roles which generally allow you to avoid those messy high F’s and G’s.
Despite my insecurities, I miss the stage. Acting is an escape, an opportunity to slip into someone else’s skin. I used to tell my friends that I wanted to be an actress simply because it would allow me to hold all the outlandish vocations I’d never realistically have. I could be a secret agent, the CEO of a major company or a drug addict.
I’m not looking for a leading role in this show. I’m perfectly fine with being one of the silly bimbos who taps about a bit as the leading man charms his way downstage.
I know I’ll never be the next Meryl Streep, or realistically even the next Miley Cyrus. But I try my best to act with integrity and commitment — two qualities this skill will always, always deserve. Acting has been good to me, so I try to be good to it.
Laura’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at l.holshouser@cavalierdaily.com
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