I should preface this letter by admitting you and I have never understood each other: ever since you wore that sparkly Limited Too poncho in fourth grade, I knew I’d never understand your trends. That said, I doubt any reasonable person could comprehend why admittedly “ugly” things are now in style. To clarify, ugly things becoming in vogue isn’t just my imagination: “grunge” has been a legitimate clothing style for years now and “ugly sandals” are stepping out all across grounds (your cool English TA is wearing them as you read this). Unfortunately, this is not just a U.Va. epidemic: PRADA makes ugly sandals (I’m not BSing you — check Google Shopping and you can grab a pair for the bargain price of $725 and your dignity). Picture Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly in “The Devil Wears Prada” wearing ugly sandals from Prada. . . YOU CAN’T because even she would know this is ridiculous, right? Let’s ponder some possible explanations:
I know many girls choose to partake in the “ugly” trend because they find oversized men’s clothing and Birkenstocks comfy, so I sincerely apologize to the one person reading this article who wears ugly sandals because of her actual foot problems. I suspect, however, that most of you wearing ugly sandals with the dress you bought because it looked just like the one from Taylor Swift’s “Style” video don’t have planter fasciitis. So, I pose this question: if you know something is “ugly,” why do you wear it? What makes you — a person society looks to as stylish — think admittedly “ugly” sandals would look good with a sundress?
A writer for Vogue UK, perhaps Miranda Priestly’s spirit animal, explains it best when she writes, “just as when things are so bad, they're good, these walk the line of being so ugly, they're acceptable. They're cool.” To clarify, you trendy people ran out of styles the mainstream found confusing, so you decided to make OBVIOUSLY UGLY things stylish in order to further perplex the public about what is “cool.”
Jerk move, guys.
I beg you, fashionable person, to consider the consequences of your actions. Employing a logical device intellectuals and Republicans have used regarding more well known issues, I argue you and your ugly sandals are headed for a slippery slope: If you — the trendsetter — don’t start wearing cute sandals with your cute dress, it’s only a matter of time before women walk out of their houses wearing sports bras and leggings when they’re not going to work out yet believe they’re wearing an outfit. Oh wait. . .
Sincerely,
Girl-who-wears-things-she-actually-finds-pretty
Annelise Kollevoll is a Humor writer.
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