I want you to understand. Imagine it’s 1:45 a.m. on a Saturday night. You left a house party on JPA 15 minutes ago and you are walking to your friend Walter’s house. If you don’t have a friend named Walter, that’s fine. You can substitute your friend’s name for his name. Or you can imagine my friend Walter for the purposes of this story. He’s great; you would like him.
As you finally approach the University’s beloved Corner, you realize just how hungry you are. You also realize you lost your friend Matt somewhere around New Cabell. More importantly, you’re very hungry (he’ll be fine). What are you going to eat? Dumplings? Pizza from Christian’s? A confusingly sweet sandwich from Littlejohn’s?
Exactly. You don’t know what you want to eat on the Corner. But I know what I want. For me, it was Two Guys Tacos. It was always Two Guys Tacos.
I spent countless nights in that enchanted taqueria. I remember it so well. I would order my tacos and wait for them at the awkwardly positioned counter. I would smile at the employees who so clearly did not want to be there. Sometimes they jokingly forgot about my order and I would remind them. That’s the kind of friendly rapport we had. Sure, they were employees and I was a customer. But we were also friends. Not close friends, but friends. Like how you’re “friends” with your first-year roommate, or your dad.
In warmer months, when the sun beat down on that brick patio, my friends and I would split a large order of nachos outside. We also did that during the winter but it was sort of miserable. It didn’t matter to us. We were home. People across the street would yell at us to join them and we would solemnly shake our heads. Beer? Pizza? No thank you. I’m eating tacos covered in sour cream even though I told the cashier I didn’t want sour cream.
I’m not arguing that Two Guys Tacos was perfect. I’m not even arguing it was good, necessarily. But it was absolutely my favorite late-night spot. Nowadays, I am an outsider on the Corner. What am I supposed to do, eat at Poke Sushi Bowl? I will not do that! I would love to because it looks delicious and the location is very convenient, but honestly I cannot use chopsticks and I’m not going to eat Japanese food with a fork because I know it looks dumb! Sue me!
I could complain about how much the Corner has changed since my first year or lament the fact that the class of 2020 will never know the taste of my favorite tacos. I could even mention the closings of the bookstore and Dunkin Donuts in previous years. However, I’m not going to do that. I don’t want to sound like an old person freaking out about the development of grain-based salad bowls. Obviously, the taste preferences of the University have changed. You guys didn’t want tacos. I hope you’re very happy with your expensive salmon and rice.
Years from now, when I bring my cool robotic grandkids to U.Va. and give them a tour, I will stop on the corner of 14th Street and University Avenue and tell them about Two Guys Tacos. I’ll tell them, “This was once a taco place and it was pretty good.” Of course, they won’t understand me because Charlottesville will be underwater and we’ll be wearing scuba suits. And universities won’t exist anymore because we’ll all just insert knowledge chips directly into our brains.
Nancy-Wren Bradshaw is a Humor editor for The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at n.bradshaw@cavalierdaily.com.
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