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To flop or not to flop?

Spring is in full swing at U.Va., but should you break out your flip flops?

While some worship at the altar of their beloved sandals, others view the humble flip flop as a sorry excuse for a shoe.
While some worship at the altar of their beloved sandals, others view the humble flip flop as a sorry excuse for a shoe.

Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.

Spring has sprung at the University — the sun is shining, the A.C. is on and students are once again reading performatively on the Lawn. However, in the midst of all this springtime joy, an unsettling presence lurks on Grounds — or should I say, on the ground. Yes, the culprit of much anguish this season is the ominous pair of flip flops. These controversial shoes are an oft-debated form of footwear amongst University students. While some worship at the altar of their beloved sandals — especially in the fraternity community — others view the humble flip flop as a sorry excuse for a shoe. Well, I am here to cut through the noise of this intense debate and analyze the positions of each side so you can determine whether flopping should be considered a flop.

Pro-floppers are predominantly members of the Sandal Party, which staunchly advocates for the right to flop. They believe flip flops should be accepted everywhere on Grounds and in many places in the greater Charlottesville area. Most students have seen pro-floppers wearing flops for a variety of activities, like playing Spikeball on the O’Hill lawn, throwing a football on Mad Bowl each Saturday or sharing a pitcher of Natty Light on the Tralcony on any given school day. 

The Sandal Party argues that flip flops provide the same foot support of any other shoe, rebutting arguments from anti-floppers that flops do not meet the basic requirements to be considered shoes.

“In the olden days, people just wore whatever they wanted on their feet — no arguments about what was or wasn’t a shoe,” Ford Aboise, third-year College student and president of the University Sandal Party, said. “This debate is like the stupid hot dog sandwich question. Who cares? Just give me them dogs.”

Speaking of dogs, the flopping community supports frequent “dogs out” behavior, referring to the normalization of showing one’s feet in public. Some pro-floppers even refuse to remove their sandals for more formal events like graduation, Phi Psichedelic or meetings with recruiters.

“I pulled up to the career fair in business formal, but only from the ankles up,” second-year Commerce student Philip Floup said. “Down below, I was sporting my favorite flops. The J.P. Morgan guy didn’t really rock with them like I did, but I’m pretty sure that internship is locked.”

Radical floppers like Floup argue for flip flop acceptance in the professional world. Yet, many mainstream flop advocates claim that these views are not reflective of the general party’s stance.

“Those extremists don’t represent the rest of us,” third-year College student Philippa F. Loupe said. “You can call us radical, but we really just want to express our natural right to be ferda.”

On the other side of the debate are the anti-floppers. These people walk around Grounds shooting dirty looks at those who dare to show off their phalanges, even in the height of spring. With their close-toe shoes, anti-floppers blend into the crowd, making them harder to identify than pro-floppers. Yet, a simple conversation with an anti-flopper will quickly reveal their strong beliefs, even without prompting. 

“I show up to my 8 a.m. class, and guess what I see? Toes.” said second-year Engineering student Claus Toadshoe. “They’re everywhere. It’s abhorrent. If my alarm didn’t wake me up, those dogs surely did.”

Anti-floppers like Toadshoe are represented by the No Flop Party, made up mostly of those who appreciate the protection of a fuller shoe. A large percentage of anti-floppers are STEM majors who are required to wear closed-toe shoes for proper laboratory protection. The No Flop movement at the University has grown in recent years, as climate change has led to warmer temperatures that inspire dogs-out activity. Such activity has led more students to become anti-flop as they tire of toes and become weary of minimalist footwear.

“Becoming a member of No Flop has allowed me to pursue connections with others like me,” said first-year Architecture student Stella Toheal. “We spend time debating which shoe could best replace the flops in the Greek life community and hold special events with No Flop alumni who have gone on to debate the issue at the state and even national levels.”

Clearly, anti-floppers are passionate about their beliefs and their work to influence the habits of the University community as a whole.

Both positions advocate fiercely on the University stage for their own positions, but which has the stronger argument, and whose argument flops? Hopefully, in the near future, the intelligent and collaborative students of the University will come together to solve this central issue. More likely, however, the competing parties will continue to face off as the warm weather persists.

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