Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.
Thomas Jefferson was a complicated man. Was he intelligent? Of course. Was he a ginger? Most people seem to think so. But what motivated him? And was he ever interested in freeform jazz? Seeing as we are approaching 200 years since the life of Jefferson, there are many indie and underground facts about good ole Tommy’s life that The Cavalier Daily hopes to illuminate. Thus, and without further ado, here are 10 fun facts that you may not have known about the United States’ third president!
1. He died on the Fourth of July
Jefferson died on the Fourth of July in 1826, exactly 50 years after the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. Thus, while you’re outside eating your hot dog, celebrating the United States’ 250th and watching grown men beat each other up, be sure to pour one out for Tommy Jefferson.
2. He never actually met George Washington in person
Despite having the most heated political rivalry of their time, Washington and Jefferson never met one another, likely as a result of how little time each actually spent in the nation’s capital. Thus, historians who suggest that their animosity may have been a cover for a more amorous, private relationship are, unfortunately, incorrect. Unless Jefferson was into pen pal stuff. I’m not really sure.
3. He’s buried under the United States Capitol Building
The United States Capitol Building serves as Jefferson’s final resting place, with his body remaining in the basement crypt originally intended for George Washington. Thus, even in death, Jefferson triumphs over his greatest rival. Or his truest partner. It depends on who you ask.
4. He was orphaned at a very young age
As a baby, Jefferson was discovered on the steps of the loneliest orphanage in all of Albemarle County, a reflection of the deep hardship that he would face throughout his childhood. His cradle did not contain a name or any other identifying information, and given his status as the second-most-famous ginger orphan, all of Jefferson’s fellow orphans bullied him mercilessly. As he later recalled in his memoirs, “the other boys used to pour milk all over me and call me ‘Milk Boy.’ I didn’t like that at all.”
5. He was named after Thomas Edison
The young boy was eventually adopted by local patriarch, Justin Jefferson, who gave him the surname that we all know and love. What many people don’t know, however, is that young Thomas was named after Thomas Edison, the greatest inventor of their time. This is why Jefferson made it his life’s work to surpass Edison as the greatest inventor on earth. But did you know that this wasn’t always Jefferson’s dream?
6. He wanted to become an actor
During his time at the University of Virginia, where he spent his formative years, Jefferson explored a litany of intellectual interests. As many know, these interests included eugenics, the life and times of the American mastodon, inventing and even architecture. However, for a brief time during his second semester at the University, Jefferson considered a career in acting, claiming he wanted to be “just like Shakespeare.” However, he could never bring himself to commit to it, as theater class warmup exercises made him feel “unbearable discomfort.”
8. He invented the lightbulb at age 19
After Ben Franklin invented electricity, the doors were thrown wide open for aspiring inventors across the United States. This was Jefferson’s chance! After many days and nights spent toiling away in Clemons Library — or, as it was called by the school’s British administrators, the Royal Clementious Library — Jefferson succeeded in creating the lightbulb at the astonishingly young age of 19. What a feat!
9. He did not care for Jared Leto’s portrayal of the Joker
Jefferson watched a theatrical troupe’s production of “The Suicidal Squadron” when it came to a local theater in 1816, sparking what contemporaries describe as “a furor not seen since the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.” Writing under a pen name, Jefferson produced an 8,000-word article denouncing actor Jared Leto’s portrayal of the Joker as “base” and “uninspired.” Sounds like somebody’s a Heath Ledger fan!
10. He probably smelled really bad
He lived on a farm at the turn of the 19th century, so this guy probably stank! Maybe he should have invented the shower.
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