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(12/30/23 4:54pm)
This morning, I had the opportunity to meet with Congressional reporter Fay Knews. During our meeting, Knews let me know about the wave of compulsory background checks issued to representatives after George Santos was expelled for putting the “con” in Congress. Knews admitted that she was surprised that background checks had been compulsory for years. The problem had just been that no one bothered to read 435 sets of paperwork, much less muster the courage to ask for President Trump's tax returns. As the documents have been misplaced, representatives are being forced to complete what is dubbed by the media as “post-background checks” once again. Unfortunately, such a task is demanding politicians to do the unthinkable — tell the truth.
(12/01/23 4:52pm)
While many have heard of the esteemed Life Desk at The Cavalier Daily — though obviously not as popular as the Humor Desk — few know that it used to run a series called Love Connection. Love Connection matched individuals with similar interests up and sent them on a date. After the date, the lovebirds were asked if they wanted to give an interview on how the date went. Unfortunately, a global disaster occurred and students could no longer be in close proximity to strangers. The page has been left untouched since 2020.
(11/26/23 8:48pm)
This morning, an alleged U.Va. official has stated that we are in a state of emergency as beloved CavMan seems to have disappeared. They announced that last night, CavMan was safely put in his double-vaulted, eye scan-protected chamber after his daily cleaning. However, when they went to check on him this morning for his daily polishing and pampering, they simply saw an empty stand. The news has caused great anxiety and fear among the University’s student body with Cavaliers begging for their beloved hero to be safely returned to his chamber.
(10/09/23 5:37pm)
Recently, the University has decided to move Greenberry’s Coffee Co. from inside Clark Hall to Wilsdorf Hall and replace it with Rookie’s. While most students are confused at this decision as a coffee shop right outside of a library seemed like a good idea, others are outraged that the University would choose to replace Greenberry’s Coffee Co. with a cookies and ice cream shop.
(09/26/23 2:42am)
Recently, the University has come out with shocking news that is leaving students either amazed or confused. A University representative has announced that the University will be taking to the skies in what has now been dubbed “Project Higher Education.”
(09/08/23 9:00pm)
Summer break has ended, we’re back in the oppressive September Charlottesville heat and syllabus week is over. The fall semester has begun, and we’re not the same people we were last year. Some of us may have changed aesthetics — from grunge to VSCO girl or from cottage core to what your mom calls “an emo.” Others may have changed majors — from premed to Business or from English to Economics and then back to English because you realized the economy is going to crash anyway so who cares if you will make no money?
(04/13/23 10:00pm)
Recently, there has been an epidemic swiping through Northern Virginia — the extension epidemic. No, I’m not talking about hair extensions. I’m talking about assignment extensions. You know, the ones you beg your professor for at midnight via email because you waited until the last minute to write a 12-page paper you had a whole month to do. Sending these emails or talking to your professor can feel like doing chemistry blindfolded, not knowing if your actions will do absolutely nothing or cause the whole thing to blow up in your face. Though it’s usually the latter, it ultimately depends on the professor.
(03/22/23 2:00am)
Like every superhero, we all have our weaknesses. For some, it’s spiders. For others, it’s clowns. And for my lactose-intolerant friends, it’s milk. But there is one weakness that a large part of the population is affected by but which very few people talk about — naps. Now naps aren’t inherently bad. Some people may even argue that they are good for you. However, there is a certain point at which naps become detrimental. That is when they take over your life.
(02/15/23 1:32am)
Once again, it’s February. And with February comes the 14th. Now, if you’re like most people, you are either spending Valentine's Day with your significant other(s) or are lying in wait for Single People Awareness Day the following morning when all the chocolate is on sale. But, unfortunately, during this time of year, we fail to recognize those that are working the hardest and that deserve our appreciation the most. No, I am not talking about the retail workers who work overtime trying to help individuals pick out the perfect gift for their significant other(s). Nor am I referencing the therapists that have to deal with couples whose Valentine's Day wasn’t as magical as they had dreamed it to be. I am talking about the ones who put in the most work to make sure their partners have a great Valentine's Day — the cheaters.
(11/02/22 9:10pm)
As the scariest season of the year wraps up, it’s come to my attention that most people don’t know about the scary occurrence that happens on Halloween night — it’s an encounter that may leave you traumatized for the rest of your life. No, I’m not talking about couples dressed up as Harley Quinn and the Joker for Halloween. I’m talking about the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.
(09/29/22 3:59am)
Over the summer, I found myself with an abundance of free time. Nobody wanted to hire me, all my friends were too busy with their jobs to hang out, it was far too hot to leave the house and the one vacation I was planning to go on got canceled. So, I did what any other sane person would do in this situation — I bought a Minecraft account.
(09/04/22 12:50am)
We all have that one friend in our friend group. You know, the “funny one.” And by “funny one,” I mean the one that calls themselves funny but has the humor of Amy Schumer. You know who I’m talking about. That one.
(06/01/22 2:44pm)
So, the school year has finally come to a close and most students have moved out. The end of the year is not only a very exciting time, but also a stressful one. However, even in the aftermath of a swirling tornado of work, I find myself beginning to reminisce on all the good things I have experienced while living out my first year in dorms.
(06/02/22 6:45pm)
Earlier this semester I found myself tangled in a romance that I can only describe as “short yet painful,” which, funnily enough, is the same way I would describe discussion sections. Discussion sections, as University students all know, are classes where you are tested on the things you learned during lecture. Or, at least the things you were supposed to have learned during lecture if you hadn’t been beating yourself up over not getting the Wordle instead. Honestly, if your discussion section doesn’t count attendance, is there even any point in going? Well, yes. That is if you have found yourself a discussion section crush.