WE ARE whimpering our way into a new millennium, and we'll be lucky if anyone hears. After the flurry of historic events of the last 1,000 years, we're going out not with a bang, but with a soft whisper. History records the loud events, the great epic occurrences that define a particular time.
IF YOU'RE not going to stay in school, I don't want to fund your college education -- not on my tax dollar, that is.
POLITICAL pundits should have Texas Gov. George W. Bush's campaign committee trembling if they're right about their prognostications.
A FEW MORNINGS ago, I was wolfing down a bowl of cereal when the truth suddenly hit me. It's the millennium and we're all gonna die.
WALLACE Stegner called it the "angle of repose." He was referring to the angle of an incline at which an object comes to rest without continuing to roll down.
I'M A CLOSET Clemons geek. I'll admit it. I'm also a first-floor addict. In Clemons, there are a few different breeds, all of which are easily identifiable.
THIS THANKSGIVING, I spent some time with my friend Emily, who is a freshman at Harvard. Looking through Emily's pictures of new college friends, they seemed to be regular kids.
GET READY for the column of the millennium! That's right: Sparky Clarkson, longtime columnist for The Cavalier Daily, has assembled one last masterpiece to send out this dusty old millennium with a bang!
I AM GOING to take this opportunity to defend the currently unfashionable view that core courses, consisting of definite lists of required texts, should be mandatory for all University undergraduates.
A VALIANT knight stands at a fork in the trail. He's been on his current path a short time, but now there are two new trails veering off in opposite directions.
We at the University have many blessings in life, things that we often take for granted. This Thanksgiving, The Cavalier Daily asked University students, faculty and administrators to write about the things for which they are thankful: I am grateful for the continued existence of books.
THERE comes a time in every young life when a man must clear his throat, glance casually over his shoulder to confirm that no one is looking, and admit that his mother was right. After many years, I have confirmed that my mother was right about several things, chief among them the issue of thank-you notes.
TO ANYONE who has compared Engineering School women to Rottweilers with graphing calculators: Watch out.
FIRST off, I'd like to recognize some of the neat features that appeared in last week's papers. Monday's in-depth book reviews were great -- if you missed The Cavalier Daily's "Book Review 1999," look around for an extra copy.
THE REPUBLICAN nomination is Texas Gov. George W. Bush's to lose. Those stakes are high, but some are still higher: Take, for example, the place of the United States in the world.
THE STUDENTS of the University pay numerous fees to the University. From the Comprehensive Fee to parking fees to the Student Activities Fee, the administration finds numerous ways to extract money from the students. The most odious is the SAF, which violates students' constitutional liberties and is inefficient to students' wishes.
IMAGINE a University without Madison House, the Pep Band or The Declaration. Imagine no student groups with Lawn tables, no flyers covering the bulletin boards in Cabell Hall, and few opportunities for first-year students to get involved in anything, since they can't rush a fraternity or sorority, of course.
I'VE NEVER put a cigarette to my lips, but I've probably smoked a thousand or so in my lifetime.
UNIVERSITY administrators should not get rich by forcing students into debt. While the University drops in the rankings and faculty members eye higher-paying jobs at Ivy League schools, too many administrators take home princely sums in salaries and benefits, all the while blaming Richmond for their institution's lack of performance. During the Casteen administration, the University's student population has grown by 326 students.
YOU HAVE to hand it to Jonathan Swift's dauntless Lemuel Gulliver. When he woke up that fine spring morning to discover himself hog-tied by a bunch of tiny island natives, he didn't fight.
