GPA Boosters For Sale! Get Your GPA Boosters!

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Take a fun class while you’re here! Who knows? You might be the world’s best rock picker, but you’ll never know unless you take the class!

Callie Collins | Cavalier Daily

With fall course selection upon us, it's time to start thinking about the consequences of the classes you enroll in. Sure, you need those major-requirement classes but what are they doing to your GPA? And your free time? You deserve a class that won’t make you want to drop out of school.

Still got a few credits to fill? Looking for something laid back? A GPA booster?

I’ve scoured the course catalog to find exactly what you're looking for. None of them meet before 10 a.m. and they are all definitely real, so get on SIS before they all fill up!

Picking Rocks — 2 credits, Tues/Thurs 3-3:50 p.m.

Don’t worry, you don't have to pick up the rocks, you just have to choose them. You better choose right, or, well you might as well withdraw from not only the class but also the University.

Walking — 1 credit, Mon 10:00 -11:00 a.m.

Walk that weekend off and get your fitbit steps in, just once a week and all levels of experience are welcome!

Stellar Astrophysics — 3 credits, Mon/Wed 12:30-1:45 p.m.

“Studies observed properties and physics of stars including radiative transfer; stellar thermodynamics; convection; formation of spectra in atmospheres; equations of stellar structure; nuclear reactions; stellar evolution; and nucleosynthesis.”

Don’t be thrown by the title, you don’t have to know any world history to do well in this class!

How to be a student — 3 credits, Mon/Wed/Fri 1-1:50 p.m.

Don’t get distracted by the lecture, you should be taking notes on the students to learn how to be one. This semester we will be sitting in on biology students.

Sign Writing  — 1 credit, Mon 4-4:50 p.m.

Prerequisite: Sign Reading. Get ready to get your hands on the posterboard you’ve been admiring from afar all last semester!

Cryptocurrency — 2 credits, Tues/Thurs 11-11:50 a.m.

Do you feel like you missed out on this whole “online money” thing? Did you google “what are  bitcoin” and only get more confused? The required textbook for this class is actually just printed-out tweets from that guy you went to high school with who invested in bitcoin by mistake a few years ago and now thinks he is a financial genius, and believe me, you will understand it all so much better by the end of this course.

Darkness  — 1 credit, Wed 7-7:50 p.m.

Rejoice in the absence of light from the sky above, let the moon strike new tides in your blood. You are a creature of darkness now. Join us to own your soul once again.

Shotgunning  — 1 credit, Thursday 8-8:50 p.m.

Can’t get a whole can down? Are you a little baby? Enroll today to become a proficient shotgunner by darty szn.

Philosophy 3050 — 4 credits Mon/Wed 2-4:45 p.m.

Wrestle with the biggest moral dilemmas of human existence. How much is a life worth? What exists outside the universe? Do we have a moral obligation to those who will be born after our own death and if so how do we weigh the value of life we are uncertain will exist? No big deal.

How to get your humor article to 700 words — 1,000 credits C0:0L p.m.

Blah blah words words, classes that are so silly. Ha ha ha ha. Words words. Blah class, haha U.Va. student taking classes la la la oh hahah. Yep. Great writing. Words words words wow this is a great fake class, honestly so hilarious. 

Vengeance  — 3 credits Mon/Tues/Wed 6-6:50 pm

“Join me as I seek vengeance for the murder of my wife. Great for students who want to learn how to conduct research through interrogation as well as employ practical methods like tracking and chasing. We will find her. And god help any one who gets in our way.”

This seems like a class that’ll really get you close with the professor, he’d probably be able to write a very personal letter of recommendation for you.

Vintage Coolness — 1 credit Fri 10-10:50 a.m.

Learn how to slick back your hair and the best leather jacket to go with your light wash jeans. Learn the best diner alleys around town to hang around and the best way to tell the cops to beat it cause you’re just out here hangin’ with some birds doin’ nothing wrong.

These classes may not be a requirement for any major and they may not fulfil any distribution requirements and they may not give you any real world skills, but c’mon, you’re only in college once! Take a fun class while you’re here! Who knows? You might be the world’s best rock picker, but you’ll never know unless you take the class!

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