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Re-discovering holiday's importance

HOORAY for America! Hooray for discovery! Hooray for the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa ...

Oh, wait - never mind. I forgot we don't celebrate Columbus Day at the University.

Those reading this probably are in or near class, trudging through another Monday while the rest of America joins hands and reflects on the hero that was Columbus. As our families wrap up a refreshing three-day weekend spent in quiet patriotic meditation, here at the University we must relinquish yet another Federal holiday for the noble cause of higher education.

If that's the case, then forget all this higher learning. I live in America and I demand my time off.

Somewhere along the line someone realized that college students are oblivious to the outside world and won't notice if they are denied a holiday. So this "someone" - more commonly known as "The Man" - went ahead and scratched Columbus Day off the calendar. Noticing that no one seemed to complain, The Man then proceeded to rub out Labor Day, Martin Luther King Day and President's Day - and Memorial Day, for colleges that stay open late into June. Apparently, The Man is a Virginian, because not all colleges must painfully endure Federal holidays, but 20 out of the 22 four-year Virginia colleges do.

At the University, The Man is actually an employee of the Provost's Office. He's a relatively high-ranking official who sits at a spacious desk with a red pen, a calendar and an ego, systematically adding more days to our school year and throwing us bones like "Readings Days" and "Winter Break" to placate us.

How did this happen? When did we become denied our basic American rights? What's next? Will we lose Thanksgiving? Will Easter fall by the wayside? How greedy will our busy schedules get that we can't enjoy holidays with the rest of our nation?

According to Asst. Provost Shirley Menaker, we should not blame The Man for this lost vacation, but thank him for insuring our accreditation. Both private and public colleges need a certain number of class hours to meet the standards set for them by national university accreditation committees. This is to ensure that, for example, a 3-credit hour class at one school means the same thing at other schools.

This fixed number of days also allows students to transfer credits more easily if they change schools, and provides a minimum number of hours, just as many public primary school systems require 180 school days.

"Having these Monday holidays is a bad idea because most students would want to go home for long weekends," said Ms. Menaker. "If we gave students all these Federal holidays off in addition to the rest of their vacations, it would make the school calendar very choppy and disruptive."

Menaker went on to explain that it's more efficient to eliminate these holidays because then the academic calendar doesn't drag on into June.

"We get complaints or questions every year," added Menaker. "Professors understand our traditional calendar, but our classified employees, such as secretaries, actually do have these federal holidays off but still have to work overtime since the University is in operation. For them, it can be a little frustrating."

Although the Undergraduate Record states that students may petition for absence on religious holidays or can simply approach a professor in advance and request time off, it may be a little harder to convince teachers that your religion requires you to stay home and commemorate Columbus Day. It would be like demanding Halloween off so you can celebrate your Wiccan faith.

Still, something is wrong at our University - it has become a place where we don't stand up for the discovery of American Indians because we're too busy calling them savages. So Columbus wasn't the smartest fish in the barrel, and in addition to leaving us a nation he also left us an irritatingly misnamed native people who are always confused with Indians from India.

Regardless, the moral of the story is that Columbus Day needs to be considered as a matter of principle, so that we're sure that things we take for granted, like holiday schedules, are the way they are for a reason. Don't forget your basic right to ask The Man why he holds the red pen. We would hate for him to accidentally cross out Christmas too.

(Diya Gullapalli is a Cavalier Daily associate editor.)

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