The other day, I realized if I wrote my autobiography it wouldn't have an appendix -- because I don't have one.
It would, however, contain many falsified stories with pirates, dinosaurs, ghosts and a small dog with whom I solve mysteries. Oh, Patches, what adventures will we get into next?
This week the Architecture School faculty rose as a unified front, T-squares in hand, to decry the most pressing issue at the University: lazy building design. Apparently the A-School feels the newer additions to Thomas Jefferson's Academical Sprawl aren't in line with Mr. Jefferson's style but rather merely mimic it. They're calling for a rethinking of new buildings and a stop to the Colonnades and porticos that dot our University.
:::disbelieving pause:::
Quick survey: How many people think Scott Stadium and the new arena look cool? :::Thousands of people raise hands::::How many people think the A-School building is a maze of staircases and awkward angles? :::Thousands of people raise hands:::Case closed. Mob rule wins.
Last week, The Cavalier Daily's own Sean McLernon wrote about his discovery of a University student who attempted to dishonorably sell his Tech game tickets on eBay for considerably more money than he paid for them. Part of me hoped he was scalping Jason Mraz tickets, because the headline then could have been "Curbside Profits."
I'd like to think I would have been an excellent headline writer in an alternate universe.
Yesterday I went to Qdoba for a delicious Mexican-food experience. I was sorely mistaken. Apologies to anyone who loves it, but I think I can sum it up in the phrase: "Qdoba? More like Qdon'tba."
It took me a full 10 minutes to think of that pun. Question: Was it worth it? Answer: Any pun is.
The other day I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in the circumstance of discovering money in my pants as I was putting them on. It was truly a great feeling. I'm gonna start a process of hiding dollar bills in all my clean clothes. Every day is like winning a tiny lottery.
I have come to the conclusion that there is no better serendipitous occurrence on earth than the pants sweepstakes. I challenge you to name one thing better. World peace? Surprise puppies and candy? A sunny day at the beach? This is, without exaggeration, one million times better.
One day I will perfect the discussion section zone-out. It'll be 8:20 a.m. in a discussion section and I can feel my body just shutting down, but I can't fall asleep in such a small classroom without getting totally called out. We all do it -- we whip out strategies we think are fooling the TA. "I'll stare right at him, and as long as I'm looking in his general direction, he'll think I'm paying attention. Perhaps I'm thinking really hard about a question he just asked -- he has no idea!" or "Oh no, my eyes are defocusing. Must. Refocus. Hopeless, I will be in a double-vision blur for the next 30 minutes." But don't feel bad, the TA's only pretending to be interested in what the class has to say anyway. And that's how learning occurs, through mutual deceit.
This week many University students noticed that a young man had painted a marriage proposal on Beta Bridge over the weekend. Thank you, George Cleveland, for giving us the University's first classy version of "hooking up with someone on Rugby."
And an ASD staple ... Awkward moment of the week:
Going to the Spin Doctors concert last Sunday. Never have I been more confused about whether or not people were cheering sarcastically... since Bob Saget.
Eric can be reached at cunningham@cavalierdaily.com.