I CAN JUST see it now. A majestic, towering, perfectly symmetrical tree dominating the entire space around it in the main entrance.
I HAVE been blessed more than most. The Big Man Upstairs, in His eternal and infinite wisdom, opted to give this sinner far more than he ever deserved.
EVEN THOUGH it was less than two weeks ago, the onslaught of final papers, exams and the like have made the Thanksgiving holiday feel like an ancient memory for most of us.
HOLIDAYS have a unique role in American life. Let's face it -- we're not a country enamored with tradition.
WHAT IS most college students' equivalent to the Holy Grail? No, it's not a bottomless keg. It's not edible dining hall food.
AS WE COME to the end of classes for the semester, familiar rituals begin to take place. Students consume large quantities of caffeine.
FORTY-SEVEN single rooms and over 200 people who want to live in them. Such is the dilemma faced by the Lawn Selection Committee every winter.
LOSING bites. There is no politically correct euphemism for it, it simply means that one person is the winner, and the rest are losers. Vice President Al Gore has lost the election, but by all standards of fairness, he is not a sore loser; he is a politician.
WHERE my freaks at?!? I will tell you where they're at - Clemons Library. These are the people who, just about every time you stop by Clemons to study, are there hanging around.
THERE are many controversial proposals in the recently released Honor System Review Commission report, including getting rid of student juries and changing the format of the trial process.
DO THESE questions sound familiar? "Did you see how much the summer construction improved Scott Stadium?" "Yeah, but I won't be able to see it from my dorm window in Woody House until November, but that's the way it goes, I guess." "Did you hear about the new gift to the medical school?" "Yeah, I read about it while waiting for class to start in my decrepit classroom in Cabell Hall, but that's life." "Do you like Pepsi?" "Of course not, but whatever." "Who do you think should win Florida?" "I don't care, just as long as the media circus ends soon." It's been a long semester, but alas, now it's drawing to a close.
MEANINGFUL IDEAS don't change. If Marxism is wrong, it can't become right. If honor is right, it can't become wrong. The Honor Committee is under the impression that its rules, procedures and so forth must be modernized to reflect the mores and the social norms of today.
THERE is a battle occurring inside each one of us. Our animalistic side is fighting our rational side.
WITH ALL the legal wrangling taking place in Florida and across our fair country, I only feel the slightest bit deprived because of the cruelty of time.
WALKING between classes last week, I overheard one University student comment on how hard it is to be a woman at the University.
FOR AS long as I can remember, my grandmother has displayed in a framed picture case a phrase that has recently become my favorite to quote and to pass around: "Sometimes we forget how far we've progressed and how much we've accomplished." This passage couldn't be truer.
DO YOU know who your teachers are? A recent study indicates that close to half of American college instructors in humanities disciplines are part-time - either graduate students or adjunct faculty.
EVERYONE has heard the adage "publish or perish" whether or not they are a member of an academic community.
REMEMBER these proud words from childhood: "I did it all by myself, nobody helped me." Maybe it was when you read a book or made a cake.
MY FATHER, with his endless amounts of wisdom, says that the 2000 election proves one thing - people in Florida are stupid.
