April Fools!

The Managing Board apologizes for the publication of two articles in the April Fools edition. They have since been removed.

Most days, we take ourselves seriously. Today is not that day.

NEWS

Incoming Student Council President Abe Axler stages coup against Sullivan

Sullivan conducts annual meeting with squirrels

Honor Committee considers causal Fridays

Faith Lyons inducted into Phi Delta Theta fraternity

Real reason behind tuition hikes revealed

Dumpling truck line to count for non-Western perspective requirement

Sullivan creates task force on task forces

In response to crisis, Sullivan sends email

Dean Groves quits to become new PiKA president

IFC elects first all-female executive board in emergency session

SPORTS

Shaq, Isner highlight returners under NCAA's 'graduate exception' rule

Tony Bennett to step down as Virginia basketball coach

NCAA deems quality education an impermissible benefit

Justin Anderson declares for NBA Draft

OPINION

First all-female Managing Board proves disastrous

HEINY: Why I won't leave my Lawn room

SPANX: Never ready for Hillary

DOWNER: We need negative majors

HUMOR

Your life isn't bumming me out

LIFE

Student body blushes for UVA Crushes

Welcome to O'Hell

"It's not over 'til I say it's over"

HEALTH & SCIENCE

Universe continues to exist, laws of physics still apply

Engineering School announces plans to build additional women's bathrooms